Granbobby used to make my card disappear,
and pull a quarter out of my ear,
Momma how’d I end up here?
Life was so different,
I was so innocent,
Who knew I’d ever act like a criminal,
My love for you is far from minimal
Daddy was my hero,
He’s who I wanted to be like,
Taught me how to ride a bike,
Taught me how to live my life.
But you know me,
I never listen to advice.
I write this for family,
The ones I see on holidays annually,
I’m grateful for everything … Read more...
Here’s how I understand the why of his suicide. His brain telling him he wanted to go, had to go. It would be better somewhere else. It was too painful here.
It is through these songs, as painful as they are to read, that I understand his depression. I wish he would’ve given life here another shot.
Problems just pilin’ all around me
Wish I could just wilin’ in Hawaiian islands
Taking shots of crown
Let the alcohol drown
Take a look around
All this bullshit surround got me down
Wish I could just run free fun free, … Read more...
Charles loved sweets. Loved snacks. Loved little convenience stores. He would stand at that aisle and take forever to make a choice.
His earliest addiction was sugar. I can remember finding a bunch of packages of candy under his bed when he was around 8-10 years old and then sitting on the bed crying. I knew it had to be a precursor to addiction. Then I thought I could do something about it which I couldn’t.
Although he was the funniest human being I ever met, he doesn’t have many funny or lively songs.
Charles was a Rap artist among his many talents. His notebooks and music were his salvation while he was alive and probably the only reason he lived until 20.
When he was away at a therapeutic boarding school, they did take his notebooks which made me angry. Writing is therapeutic. I don’t hate the school but I didn’t think taking his writing away because they … Read more...
Charles in Wilderness Program for troubled teens. It was here that we finally got a great diagnosis. He did embrace the program after 4 weeks or so.
I learned a lot about Charles after his death by suicide from his RAP diary where he wrote his songs. You can see his notebook in his hands in the picture on this page. Many of his friends know what I’m talking about since he carried them with him. They were his lifeline.
It’s in those pages I saw just how much he hurt. Every single day.