So I’m going to vent because I am so frustrated. Then I’m going to end it with things that are good to help me change my frame of mind. So I’m doing this in public because right now I’m not there.
So venting comes first.
I have been having breathing, voice and swallow issues since brain radiation for my tumor. Side effects of the radiation that may or may not go away. With a microphone or voice amplifier, I have been able to present and keep up my schedule. But at an event that’s crowded, I sound like I … Read more...
Friday started out with a message from Connie. “Are you interested in seeing Glenn Close at the Richmond Forum?” I’m thinking, whatever I have, it’s cancelled! Yes, I am interested! A friend of hers has tickets she can’t use.
Connie says Kristi is expecting my call. Kristi gives her tickets to me and my husband. So thoughtful and I’m so grateful. I run around all day jumping up and down like a 10-year old.
Glenn Close started Bring Change 2 Mind, a nonprofit about breaking the silence and stigma of mental health. It was like I won the lottery!… Read more...
Let’s face it, the keywords I do see that lead to this website are not usually “happy.” The site is about addiction, depression, grief and my son, Charles’ suicide.
But guess what? We deserve a break. Yes we do. Because every once in a while there are some funny search phrases. Charles would think this was hilarious, so that gives us permission. In fact, I think he’s joking me now with this list.
Here are some of the google keywords I can see that have led to this website.
anne moss naked
When you are middle aged, this is better … Read more...
When I started this blog, I had no idea where it was going. I just knew I hurt like crazy and had no idea what the grief journey after a suicide loss might be.
I had to write and I didn’t expect anyone would want to be exposed to my ugly, naked grief. After all we tried to do for Charles, suicide was the worst possible ending I could imagine. In fact, I never imagined it. It was never even on my radar.
Then someone asked, “How do I subscribe to your blog?” I was shocked and I still didn’t … Read more...
Who got their shirts? I’m pretty happy with my Carolina blue sweatshirt and my black and white t-shirt. I am going to be the brand. How many times can I answer the question, “What is emotionally naked?” As you can tell I’m pretty excited. Crazy kid excited. Richard, my oldest son chose the quote on the back of the shirt. And now that he actually has an address in Los Angeles, I can send him one.
Other members of the tribe got their shirts, too. Thanks you guys.
… Read more...
It’s so weird watching from my perspective now. Parents losing it over a bad call by a referee or a bad test score. That one moment is not going to define a life.
You gotta let go of the high achievement thing.
Let it go! Next week you won’t even remember that lousy call by the ref. We have forgotten to let kids be kids and to allow them to fail, grow and learn from it. We have forgotten to let them have free time for fear that a moment of unstructured time will mean they’ll not get into college … Read more...
I didn’t tell you how my brain tumor was discovered.
Charles was 3 years old and wanted to take a shower. No more baths! Daddy didn’t take baths. Daddy took showers so Charles needed to take showers.
I had to tell Charles that he could not eat his pack of gummy bears in the shower. He didn’t want to leave them because he knew I loved them. But I scooted him in the shower. And yeah I ate one. ONE! Charles gets out of the shower and notices one damn gummy bear is missing out of 20. “Hey mom, you … Read more...
Four years ago, my brain tumor returned. They’ve been watching it until some new technology was approved for the US. It was approved and two of the pieces of technology came to the US in late 2016. One of them in Buffalo, NY. That’s where I’ll have radiation to fry that sucker once and for all (hopefully) on Friday, August 25.
It’s a benign tumor in a not so great spot. Basically it’s a non-acoustic skull-based schwannoma that was once on my hypoglossal nerve (tongue nerve) and is now headed towards the brain stem. Basically, it’s a tumor in the … Read more...
I’m out to lunch and someone starts talking, then they stop. “You’re not going to publish this on your blog, are you?”
I get a message on Facebook. Same question.
I get an email, phone call, text. Same question.
Only if you are submitting a story and I have your permission, will I publish a post.
I do not publish personal conversations here. Maybe one day there will be an exception. But only if I ask and you give me permission to publish it.
I’m not putting your name on it without your permission. I’m not publishing your loved one’s … Read more...
I have always advocated waiting as long as possible to get your child a smartphone. Too many parents hand them over and the kids have them 24/7. You don’t always know you have a vulnerable teen until after a suicide attempt or a completed suicide. And then it’s too late.
Kids have been murdered and raped because of apps. Bullying and other dangerous internet games have been contributing factors for suicide.
Allowing your kids, especially any kid under 18, carte blanche phone privileges is flat out dangerous. You are essentially allowing your child in the car with the flasher in … Read more...