Your kids are not trophies

It’s so weird watching from my perspective now. Parents losing it over a bad call by a referee or a bad test score. That one moment is not going to define a life.

You gotta let go of the high achievement thing.

Let it go! Next week you won’t even remember that lousy call by the ref. We have forgotten to let kids be kids and to allow them to fail, grow and learn from it. We have forgotten to let them have free time for fear that a moment of unstructured time will mean they’ll not get into college … Read more...

How gummi bears saved my brain

I didn’t tell you how my brain tumor was discovered.

Charles was 3 years old and wanted to take a shower. No more baths! Daddy didn’t take baths. Daddy took showers so Charles needed to take showers.

I had to tell Charles that he could not eat his pack of gummy bears in the shower. He didn’t want to leave them because he knew I loved them. But I scooted him in the shower. And yeah I ate one. ONE! Charles gets out of the shower and notices one damn gummy bear is missing out of 20. “Hey mom, you … Read more...

Toasting a brain tumor

Four years ago, my brain tumor returned. They’ve been watching it until some new technology was approved for the US. It was approved and two of the pieces of technology came to the US in late 2016. One of them in Buffalo, NY. That’s where I’ll have radiation to fry that sucker once and for all (hopefully) on Friday, August 25.

It’s a benign tumor in a not so great spot. Basically it’s a non-acoustic skull-based schwannoma that was once on my hypoglossal nerve (tongue nerve) and is now headed towards the brain stem.  Basically, it’s a tumor in the … Read more...

Y’all gotta stop being paranoid

paranoid

I’m out to lunch and someone starts talking, then they stop. “You’re not going to publish this on your blog, are you?”

I get a message on Facebook. Same question.

I get an email, phone call, text. Same question.

Only if you are submitting a story and I have your permission, will I publish a post.

I do not publish personal conversations here. Maybe one day there will be an exception. But only if I ask and you give me permission to publish it.

I’m not putting your name on it without your permission. I’m not publishing your loved one’s … Read more...

Bullying example. Are you setting limits on your child’s phone?

I have always advocated waiting as long as possible to get your child a smartphone. Too many parents hand them over and the kids have them 24/7. You don’t always know you have a vulnerable teen until after a suicide attempt or a completed suicide. And then it’s too late.

Kids have been murdered and raped because of apps. Bullying and other dangerous internet games have been contributing factors for suicide.

Allowing your kids, especially any kid under 18, carte blanche phone privileges is flat out dangerous. You are essentially allowing your child in the car with the flasher in … Read more...

A crazy post about name calling

I don't like to be called chicken

Drug addict, junkie, crack head, coke whore, druggie, doper, pill popper, dope fiend, stoner, tweaker, bag bitch.

Crazy, psycho, bat shit crazy, cuckoo, fucked up, cray-cray, dodgy, lunatic, demented, nutty, loony, demented, off his rocker, mad, unhinged, loco.

These are phrases we use to refer to those suffering from mental illness and substance use disorder.

I’ve even heard people who’ve been affected by either or both refer to someone else with the disease with these phrases.

I’ve heard it from doctors referring to patients they’ve treated.

I’ve heard it from mental health professionals.

I’ve heard it from those in the … Read more...

4 things we can do to help our kids cope with bullying

Bullying has been around forever. Nothing we do will make it go away completely. It’s part of childhood and adolescence and I believe meant to prepare people for adult life. There are bosses that are bullies, neighbors and relatives that are bullies and what we learn as children in terms of coping helps us later in these situations.

Funny thing is, although we are hearing more about it, bullying has actually decreased according to a big new study in the journal Pediatrics. In 2005, 28.5 percent of students surveyed reported experiencing at least one form of bullying. By 2014, … Read more...

Dangerous apps for kids and teens

A few years back, my marketing agency did a joke campaign on how staring at a cell phone could create “glowburn.”  Which meant that even after you put your phone away, the glow on your face remained as it was “burned” into your skin.

The truth is, our relationship with our mobile devices is not that healthy and it’s not for our kids either. Not only that, mobile phones and the apps can be dangerous.

Who is at risk?

Character traits — not technology — make young people vulnerable to becoming victims via popular apps. Those who are depressed, socially … Read more...

What’s a teen to do?

A friend of yours is depressed,
Cutting, binging, purging, drugging,
Suffering suicidal thoughts,
And you don’t know what to do.

You’re not supposed to fix this,
But you also can’t dismiss it.
You have ears,
I know you do,
I’ve seen them attached
To your hairdo.
I know you’re able to listen,
It’s so easy to do!

You can encourage that peer
To tell an adult that she holds dear.
It might just be a mother,
A sister or a brother,
A teacher or a preacher,
Or the aunt with a hair transplant.

Then there’s always cousin Ed
who wears … Read more...