I woke up last night freaked out. How am I going to do live readings of my book? I am not a worry wart but I was possessed with this at 3am. A few tears is fine, but I can’t have a crying meltdown which is what happened multiple times yesterday when I gave it a go.
You would think since I do so many speaking engagements that reading from this book would be easier. For whatever reason, it’s not which surprised me.
A blubber fest is not what I want to put on display. So I’m thinking I go … Read more...
I’ve been mad all day. You know the kind of day I’m talking about.
No one answers your calls or replies to your emails. People that said they would follow up or send you something, forget despite reminders. Leads that you thought would come through don’t. And you get all the crummy news at once. Have I had worse days? Most definitely. But the frustration has me so tied up in knots, I can’t write anything but how mad I am.
It looks like at some point, I put my headshots on Pinterest. The idea was to share it with the event planners who hire me for speaking gigs when they need headshots but I ended up using google photos. I forgot about the pinterest folder.
So I noticed recently that one of my pins had a lot of views and a few re-pins. I’m not that active on the platform but I got excited because I thought it meant I was in some speaker folders.
Not the case.
On further investigation, I see that I’m in folders about hair. Women … Read more...
As I’ve been going over the edits of my book, writing the back page blurb, getting the quotes, working on the subtitle, I’m now getting those doubts that I had when I wrote my newspaper article. What if it just dies when it’s published like an old azalea bloom in the summer heat?
That same feeling of panic is creeping up on me. And that dread, what if no one reads it? What if I put this out there and it’s like I have to bury his memory like I had to bury him?
Interpersonal people skills which are also referred to as social-emotional skills such as communication and listening, leadership, coping/problem solving, teamwork, and empathy among others are what are referred to as soft skills.
In our score-obsessed, overly standardized-tested educational system, soft skills have been squeezed out by “core subjects” and degraded like they are fluffy little extras like a bows on a package. In home economics, I learned to sew on a button, budget for food for a week, write a check, buy a car, and rent a place to live. In shop, I learned to work with a team, how … Read more...
I wore these corrective shoes. One of my feet turned in and these were supposed to help. It must have because it no longer pronates as it once did. Or I grew out of it. I remember they were expensive and I didn’t really want to wear them.
Because they were different and overly retro, I was relentlessly teased about them. But I didn’t kick boys because they made fun of me or my shoes. I just endured that.
What no one ever seemed to remember, mention or even know was why I kicked boys. No one ever asked or considered … Read more...
So I’m going to vent because I am so frustrated. Then I’m going to end it with things that are good to help me change my frame of mind. So I’m doing this in public because right now I’m not there.
So venting comes first.
I have been having breathing, voice and swallow issues since brain radiation for my tumor. Side effects of the radiation that may or may not go away. With a microphone or voice amplifier, I have been able to present and keep up my schedule. But at an event that’s crowded, I sound like I … Read more...
Friday started out with a message from Connie. “Are you interested in seeing Glenn Close at the Richmond Forum?” I’m thinking, whatever I have, it’s cancelled! Yes, I am interested! A friend of hers has tickets she can’t use.
Connie says Kristi is expecting my call. Kristi gives her tickets to me and my husband. So thoughtful and I’m so grateful. I run around all day jumping up and down like a 10-year old.
Let’s face it, the keywords I do see that lead to this website are not usually “happy.” The site is about addiction, depression, grief and my son, Charles’ suicide.
But guess what? We deserve a break. Yes we do. Because every once in a while there are some funny search phrases. Charles would think this was hilarious, so that gives us permission. In fact, I think he’s joking me now with this list.
Here are some of the google keywords I can see that have led to this website.
When I started this blog, I had no idea where it was going. I just knew I hurt like crazy and had no idea what the grief journey after a suicide loss might be.
I had to write and I didn’t expect anyone would want to be exposed to my ugly, naked grief. After all we tried to do for Charles, suicide was the worst possible ending I could imagine. In fact, I never imagined it. It was never even on my radar.
Then someone asked, “How do I subscribe to your blog?” I was shocked and I still didn’t … Read more...
Who got their shirts? I’m pretty happy with my Carolina blue sweatshirt and my black and white t-shirt. I am going to be the brand. How many times can I answer the question, “What is emotionally naked?” As you can tell I’m pretty excited. Crazy kid excited. Richard, my oldest son chose the quote on the back of the shirt. And now that he actually has an address in Los Angeles, I can send him one.
Other members of the tribe got their shirts, too. Thanks you guys.
It’s so weird watching from my perspective now. Parents losing it over a bad call by a referee or a bad test score. That one moment is not going to define a life.
You gotta let go of the high achievement thing.
Let it go! Next week you won’t even remember that lousy call by the ref. We have forgotten to let kids be kids and to allow them to fail, grow and learn from it. We have forgotten to let them have free time for fear that a moment of unstructured time will mean they’ll not get into college … Read more...