Heroin writes me a letter back

falling-powder

Dear Anne Moss,

I got your letter. You said you f-ing hated me but I could care less.

I am heroin, the most powerful drug in the world.

I am so entrenched in your culture, it will take decades to undo the damage. Your son was just another casualty. I don’t even remember him. How could I? I’ve killed millions, ruined millions of lives and torn apart families.

I have more control over your loved ones than you ever had. You have no control over me and it’s so pathetic to watch you try.

What’s more, I keep changing in both form and … Read more...

Dear high and mighty parent

Having a bit of devilish fun with this post.
Having a bit of devilish fun with this post

How did you get such perfect kids? No wonder you are bursting with pride. You raised your children right!

Clearly those of us who are struggling with our children are at a loss for what to do. We didn’t spank them enough, hire enough tutors, take away enough or show them who is boss.

If only we had listened to you, we, too would have straight A students, doctors and soccer champions. Oh wait. No we wouldn’t because your precious children are a direct reflection of you! Great genes and great parenting. You have the … Read more...

A letter I wrote Charles in 1999 that was opened in 2010

o1LPlTH

On the eve of the millennium, I wrote both my children a letter that I ended up giving to them on their 16th birthday. 

Charles kept his letter and the creases and letter were well worn which indicated he had opened it and read it often in the 4 years before he died at 20. 

After his suicide, we got his backpack back and in it he had every single card or letter I had written him while he was away at boarding school, every family picture he could find and have printed out– and this letter.  

I don’t know Read more...

Response to ‘The Final 48 Hours’

This is an excerpt from a blog post from a young lady in her early 20s in response to “The Final 48 Hours.”  She is a suicide attempt survivor. This portion is republished with her permission.

….I read an article today that my friend’s mother wrote about when she heard of her son’s death and it was like all of a sudden my heart was being ripped open.

I couldn’t tell you why or how but starting from in between my lungs, everything in me felt like it was being pushed to either side of my ribs … Read more...

Hold onto hope

hold-hopeFrom a young lady, 26, a suicide survivor who attended my recent presentation at Coalition Theater Talk20 in Richmond, Virginia on the #griefheart project.

She came home and posted this on her Facebook page. Made me cry. So very brave.  And I can’t help but cry again as I post it. This is the generation that will inspire change in mental illness, addiction and suicide. I hope it touches you as much as it did me. 

“Just left a very powerful ‪#‎Talk20‬ at the Coalition Theater. I was most inspired by Anne Moss’ bravery to share her very personal … Read more...

My dad was an addict because I wasn’t the ideal daughter

Self blame. Confusion. Loss of self esteem. Those are the results of silence. This letter is from a friend of a friend who is about 20 years old. Young people do want to talk about mental illness, addiction and suicide. But they won’t if you don’t. 

My best friend growing up was Jaimie Smith.* I’ll consider her my sister always. So I see you on her page often and read your blog here and there because I know how much your son’s death affected her.original

I just wanna reach out and thank you for posting what you do because most … Read more...

To Charles: Letter to a Fellow Goon – by Jay Skinner

I want to laugh
I’ve heard the news
(and I heard it was you)
So I’m waiting for the punchline

I’m stifling certain giggles until the curtain drops
and we take one last bow together;
Cracking on the lines we jumbled,
the cues we missed
(I’ve got a feeling there’s a big one I should have seen)

You are Charles
(I chew the name like bubblegum; sweet)
but life isn’t a stage, or even an act
You are no one’s son
no one’s brother
no one’s shadow

You are not adjectives, or accomplishments
roles or reversals,
potential rap albums, or … Read more...

How many lives can you save?

Lauren is in her early 20s. After she sent this note to me she reached out to her parents. She asked me to post her message here so you could see it and share it so that it would help others.

Note from Lauren below:

I came across your post “The Final 48 Hours” today (5/17/16) on Facebook that was shared by mutual friends. I have never come across a story that has related to me more in my life.
On May 10th at 2:09pm I thought about taking my life.

Why? I have no reason to be … Read more...

What do those suicide notes look like?

Not everyone leaves a last letter.

But we mothers have found things tucked away and balled up in the trash. Maybe not an official suicide note, but they do reflect what the sufferer is feeling in their darkest hour.

Usually, they are not thinking of you. They are thinking you’d be better off without them. Most at this point are in agony.

People suffering from depression don’t want to tell you they hurt. One, that’s the nature of the illness. Two, they don’t want to reveal that darkness their souls. They’d rather die that feel the rejection from those they … Read more...

This is what I live for. It doesn’t get better than this

It’s letters like these that make my life worth living since Charles’ suicide. Warning. It will make you cry. A good cry. It is so thoughtful and well written. If the author is out there, thank you. This truly defines my purpose. I have removed identifying information to protect the sender’s identity. 

Mrs. Rogers,

I have tried writing to you many times, but have felt like it may be inappropriate for me to reach out to you because I had so little interaction with Charles, but I’ve been keeping up with your blog and after reading about how Charles was … Read more...