As much as I would like to, I will never forget March 16th, 2014.
My now wife and I had just started dating when I texted to tell her that we wouldn’t talk for a few days. I’m sure it put her on edge, but her response was she hoped everything was okay and that she was there if I needed anything.
As I drove around in my car alone, I felt the pain and emptiness crawl up from within me. I pulled over and texted her to ask if I could call because I needed someone … Read more...
It’s said that in combat you never hear the rifle shot that kills you. When learning of the loss of a loved one, however, the opposite is true – the phone rings, you answer it and then nothing – you just go numb.
We received the call that our daughter, Allison Goldstein, had taken her own life before we read the email she sent– the suicide note with “Things I Couldn’t Say” in the subject line.
The counter on my phone counts it for me down to the seconds, which, at the moment of this writing is rolling over to 11,472,931.
The counter is one of those little things that keeps me going in moments where I really want to throw in the towel–moments where I’m so desperate for relief that I debate whether it might be worth it to reset that clock. Of course, I’ve reset that clock enough times to know that it’s never worth it.
The crushing shame that comes with hitting the reset button should be enough to keep … Read more...
From Anne Moss: Leslie wanted to post this with her full name but some family members were not in sync with that decision so she posted anonymously. She is a regular part of the Emotionally Naked tribe.
I’ve been silent for so long, I’m struggling with the words, but finding it healing.
Without treatment, addiction to alcohol is progressive and fatal, whether from liver, kidney, stomach and brain diseases, cancer, heart disease, accidents, falls or suicide. My Dad’s addiction, which grew to include the abuse of various prescription medications, took about 40 years to finally kill him at … Read more...
by Aidan O’Connell, Ireland. The love of his life, Laura, was also Irish
I am not sure how to start this, how to write this.
In 2007, I was in the middle of my ten-year career as a VIP in Copper Face Jacks, a popular night club in Ireland, and had become separated from my friends (easy to do in a club with 2000 drunk people). To anyone who’s ever been there, you cannot move an inch.
I was sitting on the speakers and downing the drink in my hand when this gorgeous dark haired girl with a crazy … Read more...
I have been asked several times to share my story and to be honest, I always hesitate. To me, my story is getting pregnant at 19, going through a divorce in my mid 20s, remarried at 28, surprise twins at 30, spontaneously opening a boutique in my late 30s and the list goes on.
It has chapters dealing with decisions, growth and sleepless nights. It is filled with both sadness and joy.
And, although it mentions suicide, that is a chapter I tend to skim. It is the only chapter that I protected and … Read more...
On the morning of January 20th, 2011 the phone rang and it was the local dispatcher whom we knew. She said Eric had called and reported a dead body. She didn’t seem too concerned because we all knew Eric was a good, level-headed kid.
However, Eric was not in his room so I went to find him. I expected to sit with him waiting on police. But instead found him about 30 feet from the car.
It was 5:22 AM.
He had used my 12-gauge shotgun that he had hunted with for 3 years. He had killed … Read more...
Late one night I came home depressed. Living with Bipolar is difficult enough, but the depression was getting the best of me. So, I decided I had enough and I took a handful of my mom’s sleeping pills and was excited to be ending my life.
I then went to my bedroom and I remember the room spinning and I just laid down and the room went black. I woke up the next day and the first thing I said to myself, was “I am so stupid I cannot even kill myself right.” I went for several more weeks, still in … Read more...