My daughter, Allison Goldstein, died from post postpartum depression

by David Matthews

It’s said that in combat you never hear the rifle shot that kills you. When learning of the loss of a loved one, however, the opposite is true – the phone rings, you answer it and then nothing – you just go numb.

We received the call that our daughter, Allison Goldstein, had taken her own life before we read the email she sent– the suicide note with “Things I Couldn’t Say” in the subject line.

She lost a struggle with Postpartum Depression we didn’t even know existed. She was only 32 and had her whole … Read more...

I have been clean for 4 months, 1 week, and 5 days

by Kendall Baker

stop watch

The counter on my phone counts it for me down to the seconds, which, at the moment of this writing is rolling over to 11,472,931.

The counter is one of those little things that keeps me going in moments where I really want to throw in the towel–moments where I’m so desperate for relief that I debate whether it might be worth it to reset that clock. Of course, I’ve reset that clock enough times to know that it’s never worth it.

The crushing shame that comes with hitting the reset button should be enough to keep … Read more...

Hard Granite. Nicholas Anderson’s suicide by Sandy LaSalle

From Anne Moss: Nicholas was on the autism spectrum. There does seem to be a connection between mental illness and autism which increases the odds of suicide.

Nicholas Robert Anderson, 23
Nicholas Robert Anderson, 23

by Sandy LaSalle

It has now been over 1.5 years since my son Nicholas died by suicide. What a shock! We saw him just days before and he seemed “on top of the world” with great plans for his future.

Together with family, we awaited his arrival home following his graduation from Virginia Tech with a degree in physics, yet he never arrived.

We waited.

Then the call … Read more...

My father, whom I loved so much, was an alcoholic

From Anne Moss: Leslie wanted to post this with her full name but some family members were not in sync with that decision so she posted anonymously. She is a regular part of the Emotionally Naked tribe.

By Leslie

I’ve been silent for so long, I’m struggling with the words, but finding it healing.

Without treatment, addiction to alcohol is progressive and fatal, whether from liver, kidney, stomach and brain diseases, cancer, heart disease, accidents, falls or suicide. My Dad’s addiction, which grew to include the abuse of various prescription medications, took about 40 years to finally kill him at … Read more...

April 17–When my Girlfriend Killed Herself

by Aidan O’Connell, Ireland. The love of his life, Laura, was also Irish

I am not sure how to start this, how to write this.

In 2007, I was in the middle of my ten-year career as a VIP in Copper Face Jacks, a popular night club in Ireland, and had become separated from my friends (easy to do in a club with 2000 drunk people). To anyone who’s ever been there, you cannot move an inch.

I was sitting on the speakers and downing the drink in my hand when this gorgeous dark haired girl with a crazy … Read more...

You have Bipolar Disorder-Rapid Cycling

tammy ozolins and her dad after bipolar disorder diagnosis
Tammy Ozolins and her Dad

by Tammy Ozolins

This is what the doctor told me during my first hospitalization. I thought it was like a cut and all I had to do was put a band aid on it and I would be good to go.

I told the doctor I have things to do, so let’s just get this fixed.

I truly did not accept my mental illness at this point. I took my medicine. But once I started to feel better, I stopped. Why? Because I thought I knew what was best for me.

Boy, was I wrong!… Read more...

Telling my story after 19 years. In memory of Brett Marshall Hunter

by Leah Osgood

I have been asked several times to share my story and to be honest, I always hesitate. To me, my story is getting pregnant at 19, going through a divorce in my mid 20s, remarried at 28, surprise twins at 30, spontaneously opening a boutique in my late 30s and the list goes on.

It has chapters dealing with decisions, growth and sleepless nights. It is filled with both sadness and joy.

And, although it mentions suicide, that is a chapter I tend to skim. It is the only chapter that I protected and one that I … Read more...

My First Tattoo. Covers my Scars, but Not my Journey

By Tammy Ozolins

Late one night I came home depressed. Living with Bipolar is difficult enough, but the depression was getting the best of me. So, I decided I had enough and I took a handful of my mom’s sleeping pills and was excited to be ending my life.

I then went to my bedroom and I remember the room spinning and I just laid down and the room went black. I woke up the next day and the first thing I said to myself, was “I am so stupid I cannot even kill myself right.” I went for several more weeks, still in … Read more...

Putting my life back together after my best friend’s suicide

Hannah Flanery and Emily Barnhardt

by Emily Barnhardt

If had to choose a phrase that encapsulates my story and the pain and suffering I’ve experienced, it would be: “collateral beauty.”

Several years ago, I lost my best friend (who was also my roommate) to suicide. It turned my world upside down.

There are no words to explain the devastating grief that washes over you after a complex loss like suicide; it’s as unpredictable and relentless as waves crashing over the seashore. I wrestled with the never-ending questions and the monstrous-of-all questions, “why?” I broke time and time again over the … Read more...