Yellow Diamond Heart- #griefheart number 58

Diamond Heart
Diamond Heart

This #griefheart is one in a pair of earrings I bought while working for an awesome dealer/friend in NY.

I was desperately trying to sell them years later to help pay for the support services we needed for Charles before he died by suicide. Treating mental illness and addiction is not cheap and we read more

Death Anniversary Heart– #griefheart number 56

Death Anniversary Heart
Death Anniversary Heart

This #griefheart represents all the love and support we have received since Charles’ suicide. It is made up of the grief cards we got after Charles’ death June 5, 2015.

Charles died 4 days after we sold our house, so we moved and I’m not sure this is all of them. But it has to be read more

Escape Heart– #griefheart number 55

cloud-heart
Escape Heart

From Charles’ rap song, Run Free:

“Leanin’ on clouds up in heaven with my rap feelin’ free at last
Floatin’ through the present
I ain’t focused on the past”

I hope he has found peace. Still working on finding mine. Thank you Megan for capturing the sky scene I’ve been read more

Cuddle Heart – #griefheart number 54

Cuddle Heart
Cuddle Heart

This was sent to me by another mom, Angel, who lost her daughter to suicide. Their kittens had a litter and three of them were napping and she snapped a picture saying it reminded her of my #griefheart project.

It reminded me what a great cuddler Charles was. More than Richard, Charles needed hugs read more

Tearful Heart– #griefheart number 53

Tearful heart
Tearful heart

I will always have smiles, and tears, for my son Charles. He had no idea how much me meant to us and to others at that last dark moment when he took his own life.

My neighbor Wendy Holt organized things to drop off after he died by suicide. And one of those things was lots of boxes of kleenex which read more

Hidden Heart– #griefheart number 34

Hidden Heart
Hidden Heart

Blame it on grief brain, but I miscounted. #griefhearts number 34 and 35 got left out. So that there is not a gap, I am sliding in this number 34 after 52.

Mathematicians will hate it. But who says you have to always count in order? It is, after all, a creative project. Charles read more

Pop Tart Heart– #griefheart number 53

Pop Tart Heart
Pop Tart Heart

Charles pretty much had the worst diet ever. If it was a processed food, he loved it. And he loved those brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts. Oh how I worried about his teeth.

I didn’t buy pop tarts but Randy would buy them “for the kids.” When I saw these in the pantry today (can’t read more

Camo Heart – #griefheart number 52

Camo Heart
Camo Heart

On this memorial day, we honor those we’ve lost in battle as well as those we’ve lost to internal battles.

There is no camouflaging the high suicide rate for both active duty troops and veterans read more

Beach Heart – #griefheart number 51

#griefheart
Beach Heart

I remember the number of beach trips we took as a family–most great and one disastrous (that story coming soon).  The great memories outweigh the bad. If it weren’t for my family during those years when we were paying so much for care related to Charles’ read more