Cuddle Heart – #griefheart number 54

Cuddle Heart
Cuddle Heart

This was sent to me by another mom, Angel, who lost her daughter to suicide. Their kittens had a litter and three of them were napping and she snapped a picture saying it reminded her of my #griefheart project.

It reminded me what a great cuddler Charles was. More than Richard, Charles needed hugs read more

Tearful Heart– #griefheart number 53

Tearful heart
Tearful heart

I will always have smiles, and tears, for my son Charles. He had no idea how much me meant to us and to others at that last dark moment when he took his own life.

My neighbor Wendy Holt organized things to drop off after he died by suicide. And one of those things was lots of boxes of kleenex which read more

Hidden Heart– #griefheart number 34

Hidden Heart
Hidden Heart

Blame it on grief brain, but I miscounted. #griefhearts number 34 and 35 got left out. So that there is not a gap, I am sliding in this number 34 after 52.

Mathematicians will hate it. But who says you have to always count in order? It is, after all, a creative project. Charles read more

Pop Tart Heart– #griefheart number 53

Pop Tart Heart
Pop Tart Heart

Charles pretty much had the worst diet ever. If it was a processed food, he loved it. And he loved those brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts. Oh how I worried about his teeth.

I didn’t buy pop tarts but Randy would buy them “for the kids.” When I saw these in the pantry today (can’t read more

Camo Heart – #griefheart number 52

Camo Heart
Camo Heart

On this memorial day, we honor those we’ve lost in battle as well as those we’ve lost to internal battles.

There is no camouflaging the high suicide rate for both active duty troops and veterans read more

Beach Heart – #griefheart number 51

#griefheart
Beach Heart

I remember the number of beach trips we took as a family–most great and one disastrous (that story coming soon).  The great memories outweigh the bad. If it weren’t for my family during those years when we were paying so much for care related to Charles’ read more

Love to live for– #griefheart number 50

#griefheart
Love to live for

I told Richard, my oldest son and Charles’ brother, what I wanted to do for my #griefheart. I had a hard time getting my hands high enough for his tall self so he kept squatting. He is stifling a laugh over my lack of being able to make a decent heart with may hands.

Dante, his roommate, is read more

Boardwalk Love – #griefheart number 49

49-heart

Shortly after Charles’ suicide, someone carved or wrote this on the dock at the pavilion at Woodlake in Midlothian Va where Charles grew up. A mom snapped a photo and sent it to me. Sorry but I can’t remember who sent it. We had sold the house 4 days before he died and we had to read more

Unloved Heart – #griefheart number 48

#griefheart
Unloved Heart

I am always doing hearts about what Charles loved. But today, I’m doing one about something he did not love. And that’s broccoli and pretty much any food in the category of green unless it was a piece of candy.

We were cooking broccoli and we couldn’t help but laugh at the memory read more

Love from Pie – #griefheart number 47

Love from Pie
Love from Pie

This heart is in memory of Maggie Moyler who died by suicide at the age of 17 in 2011. Above is her signature.

I knew Maggie as a young child because the Moylers went to the same church we did in Midlothian. She was adorable–an absolute light. She looked like a child right out of a Gap ad and I read more