What to say to someone who has lost a child

I know so many don’t know what to say to those who’ve suffered a loss, particularly that of a child and in the case of suicide.

Unfortunately, I can check both those boxes.

Suggestions on what to say

I made a pact to welcome any and all comments and never pass judgement on what someone has asked or said because it takes guts to speak up. After so many years of suffering in silence since he had such stigmatized illnesses, it’s a relief to let it out.

Figuring out what someone else in the same shoes wants is tough.

If … Read more...

Grief support comes from strangers, too

harry potter tour note from a stranger

I loved the Harry Potter Tour in London. But once they opened the doors to the studio, my heart was flooded by a tsunami of emotions as I reflected on how much Charles Rogers would have loved this tour. The tears refused to be held back but it was dark so I thought it was enough to hide my grief. Sometimes the grief just ambushes me like a punch to the heart.

I found a seat in the crowd and as I was struggling to pull it together, a concerned Warner Brothers staff member came up to me and asked … Read more...

Please do not avoid the subject of my son who died

what to say to someone who lost a child

Probably one of the toughest things about having a child who died, especially one that died by suicide, is that many people avoid you and say nothing. And yes, we notice. In fact, we are hypersensitive to it.

It’s isolating and devastating enough without the added stress of someone obviously avoiding you or the subject because they don’t know what to say. I understand why. But it still hurts.

And sometimes when I have brought it up to eliminate the elephant in the room, people wave me off or turn away like it’s too ugly and they don’t want to … Read more...