Ones I did not possess before his death, I now have. Like they were somehow passed on to me.
I am able to spot a fake a mile away. I can tell, like he could, when someone is suffering inside even if they are smiling on the outside. I can see something written on social media that everyone else takes one way and know immediately that person is either in trouble and needs help or just needs someone to reach out.
Like my son that died by suicide, I’ve always been passionate … Read more...
On June 5, 2015, my son died by suicide. With him, all the hopes and dreams I had of who he would become evaporated in an instant.
Your kids are your life. And when one of them is taken away, part of your life goes with him. Part of my soul died that day and my grief journey meant finding new hopes and dreams, all while mourning the loss of the ones that would never come true.
Charles had “it.” He wanted to be famous. Wanted his music to be famous. And he had all the ingredients although I don’t … Read more...
A friend and I had a conversation just recently. And we talked about how things have changed with my friends. For one thing, having lost a child doesn’t exactly put you at the top of an invite list for social events.
Once I noticed this, I made the decision not to be bitter but to host more events on my own and reach out more. Start my own party so to speak.
But why was I still feeling left out?
My friend said something interesting in our conversation, “We haven’t changed how we’ve treated you.” And in general, that’s true.… Read more...
The last time I saw you, my son was alive. My son Charles grew up with yours. Yet when we ran into each other, you didn’t mention his name. In fact, you looked like you were afraid of me. I think if you had had enough warning, you would have avoided me all together.
When I lost my son, I did not erase him from my family tree. Nor did I erase him from my memory. But when I run into people who say nothing, it makes me feel like my child never counted for anything.
How do you get the worst news of your life and move forward? How do you weather a tragedy that alters your life so much you can’t see how you can survive? How do you find the strength to enjoy life after that? Will you ever laugh again?
At first, you are in shock, moving through a fog. It’s hard to put anything in order and you feel lost and in disbelief. But once you come out of the fog, you need to find your way and you have to fight for it. Because we only have one life and I want … Read more...