It’s letters like these that make my life worth living since Charles’ suicide. Warning. It will make you cry. A good cry. It is so thoughtful and well written. If the author is out there, thank you. This truly defines my purpose. I have removed identifying information to protect the sender’s identity.
I have tried writing to you many times, but have felt like it may be inappropriate for me to reach out to you because I had so little interaction with Charles, but I’ve been keeping up with your blog and after reading about how Charles was … Read more...
This rap song, Silver Lining, is on Sound Cloud and posted below. I wrote out the words a while back so I’d have them. He recorded it with his friend Max Richards, a very talented musician who is doing the beats. He recorded it in 2014 while at Wasatch Academy in Utah on an instrument microphone.
Granbobby used to make my card disappear,
and pull a quarter out of my ear,
Momma how’d I end up here?
Life was so different,
I was so innocent,
Who knew I’d ever act like a criminal,
My love for you is far from minimal
Daddy was my hero,
He’s who I wanted to be like,
Taught me how to ride a bike,
Taught me how to live my life.
But you know me,
I never listen to advice.
I write this for family,
The ones I see on holidays annually,
I’m grateful for everything … Read more...
“I found my place amongst these beats And my passion with these stanzas.” –Charles Aubrey Rogers, 1995-2015
This one is inspired by two songs I thought were lost forever. Charles loved his rap music. He was rarely spotted without those earphones around his neck or earbuds in his ears.
The iPod pictured is one we got for him in 8th grade. He loved it. It held tens of thousands of songs. These are what helped him cope and inspired his writing. You might think of rap music as “bad” but I think without it, Charles would have exited a long … Read more...
If there was one consistent theme about Charles, it was that he always reached out. He reached out to kids who were not always visible to others and to ones who were highly visible as well.
He put himself at risk socially doing this. But unlike other kids his age, he didn’t care.
He’d put himself on the line and stand up for other kids who had no friends at all or had tons of friends. Kids that felt isolated or depressed or were having a hard time with something in their lives. Kids … Read more...
So many times I would pass by Charles’ room and sometimes I would notice a smell. I would go in, try and identify it. Open the window to air it out.
No one else could smell it but I could. It was very different. Very distinct.
At first, I thought it might be drug related. But Charles didn’t smoke things in his room. And it was a smell that I remembered from before there were drugs involved. Only it got stronger as he became a teenager.
Not unpleasant just different and a little bit alarming for some reason. Hard to describe … Read more...
Charles loved sweets. Loved snacks. Loved little convenience stores. He would stand at that aisle and take forever to make a choice.
His earliest addiction was sugar. I can remember finding a bunch of packages of candy under his bed when he was around 8-10 years old and then sitting on the bed crying. I knew it had to be a precursor to addiction. Then I thought I could do something about it which I couldn’t.
Although he was the funniest human being I ever met, he doesn’t have many funny or lively songs.