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How do I help my loved one to stop drinking or doing drugs?

I get this question daily. How can I stop my child/spouse/sibling from doing drugs, drinking too much, and even watching too much porn or gambling? Families feel they have tried everything and the helplessness of watching their loved one self-destruct is overwhelming. Not to mention how it affects the rest of the family and those relationships.

You can affect change. It’s not fast, it’s not guaranteed but you can improve your situation and create an environment for change. It’s important to understand how the person using a substance thinks and feels and how your actions play into their use. Empathy … Read more...

USA Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is now 988

Also known as the 911 for mental health crises, the new 988 rolled out Saturday, July 16, 2022. The crisis text line, a separate service, is still 741-741.

Those struggling with an emotional crisis including substance misuse or addiction, or a person with a loved one in an emotional health crisis, can call or text the 988 number.

At this writing, 988 Text and chat is available in English only but 988 voice calls are can be answered in Spanish or English. Language Line Solutions provides translation services for over 250 additional languages.

Congress designated the new 988 dialing code … Read more...

A special audience

#griefheart Musical heart #8
Musical heart- Originally part of the #griefheart project which is here

I can’t tell you where it was but I can tell you how it felt.

I had been nervous that morning prior to this panel event. But a brisk walk to burn out my nervous energy did the trick. Backstage we put on our mics and prepped for our entrance–the moderator, me, and my two fellow panelists all of whom I admire a great deal. We took our seats.

By this time I was surrealistically calm. Excited, but no longer nervous. I had asked Charles to be with me … Read more...

Did Charles’s sleep disorder lead to his depression?

sleep deprivation and depression
Image source: Sleeping Fix

Charles’s sleep issues started when he was a baby. He rarely napped and if he did it was a 15-minute catnap in the car. If I took him out of the seat, he’d wake up and be done with that sleeping stuff. By a year old, I was struggling for personal time because Charles was a demanding child insisting on sleepovers and playdates 24/7. He’d keep them up all night and as a result us, too.

When one kid left, he expected another to come right after and he was relentless with those spend-the-night requests. … Read more...

Is your negative self-talk deflating your self-esteem?

“They said I’d be a failure
and collect dust on the shelf
I’ll show the world I’m something else
Twist their words and make somethin’ of myself.”
—Out of Reach by Charles Aubrey Rogers

Cognitive Distortions to Cognitive Restructuring

Many of us default to cognitive distortions. That means we look at things from a point of view that is more critical and often results in our saying things to ourselves like, “You are so stupid!” Or “I should be through all this by now. Why can’t I get back to normal?”

When you struggle with self-defeating remarks, it can … Read more...

10 Steps to Finding Your Purpose

Click the yellow title to get your 2-page ebook.

10 Steps to Finding Your Purpose

Length: Two pages (maybe the spiral notebook look is overkill)

Finding purpose is how you add meaning to your life. It can be a business venture, passion project, or social justice pursuit. It doesn’t have to be grand and international. It can be simply promoting a cause in a meaningful way. These are the steps I took to find my purpose and I hope these steps help you find yours.

Read more...

ManTherapy.org – Sometimes life’s dog takes a dump on your lawn

A friend of mine and top researcher in suicide prevention, Dr. Sally Spencer Thomas, wanted to figure out how to reach men who might be struggling with some kind of mental health event or condition. A lot of her work centers around the corporate world and the construction industry, the latter having the highest rate of suicide. She is also a suicide loss survivor, having lost her brother, Carson, decades ago.

She ended up working with an ad agency to execute a way to reach men using humor. The site is ManTherapy.org. There is a lot more to the … Read more...

How a 16-year-old went from suicidal to hopeful

This is a conversation from a series of comments on this site that took place June 1-June 7 from the page, How to Write a Suicide Note. This “how-to” page is not a template for writing suicide letters but a page people land on from a google search that includes resources.

This is part of my work to use search and digital content marketing strategies to help people save their own lives. I have dozens of these pages that rank well on Google and other search engines and I have been doing this work since 2016, answering comments from … Read more...

The death anniversary. Year 7 since Charles’s suicide

charles rogers died by suicide in 2015
Charles Aubrey Rogers April 26, 1995-June 5, 2015

I can say I have healed emotionally.

I can’t say, “I’m over it.”

I have learned to walk beside grief and accept the journey however it presents itself, never having expectations of how it might be. So if I feel low, I sit with that emotion for a bit and then use a coping skill to jump-start myself out of that space. No pushing grief away or denying it. But then no wallowing either. My grief is my opportunity to connect with the memories of Charles.

At this point, it’s less about … Read more...

New app for suicide prevention and grief for suicide loss

Most Days is an app for iPhone that helps you build routines to support your mental health. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has partnered with the app, to offer support for those who have lived with thoughts of suicide and those who live with a loss by suicide. (Video below if you want to just scroll to that.)

Step 1: Creating or subscribing to a routine which is a set of healthy habits that you are working to incorporate into your life most days. A library of routines is already written by top psychologists and neuroscientists from which you … Read more...

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