Dear Heroin, I F-ing HATE you!

You are the sorriest, most vicious, demonic son of a bitch in the world.

You took over my child at his most vulnerable and you lured him into your lair of deceit. Then wrapped your evil talons around him, leaked into his brain and never let go until he was dead.

You told him that he was the greatest human being in the world–and then the most worthless. You ostracized him from his family and his friends and made him do things he would not ever have done without your influence.

You made him lie, cheat and steal for you. … Read more...

Heart of Hope – #griefheart number 24

So days and days of rain. I go to improv last night and one of my class mates says, “Did you see that rainbow earlier?” No, I missed it!

So I take the dog out for a walk today. Still no rainbow. But wait. There is one. I was looking in the wrong place. It’s not in the sky, it’s on the sidewalk. And it survived the rain? Yes, that’s a griefheart. A heart of hope.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by… Read more...

Men get little support in grief

greatest-struggleI was recently talking with a Dad who lost his son. He mentioned that his best friend was often by his side but never openly spoke about the death of his son, leaving him no real options for talking about the devastating loss other than his wife and the occasional chance meetings with someone like me.

I talked with him about the fact that for the most part, men do not get the support that women do. About the fact that as awkward as the subject is to most people, the men in particular have a hard time discussing it … Read more...

Shattered Heart – #griefheart number 23

Broken glass to sum up how my heart is feeling today. Enough said.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

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Graffiti Heart – #griefheart number 22

Graffiti Heart – #griefheart number 22
My cousin Lee Anne was down at Manchester area of Richmond, Virginia where they were painting murals. I was with her the first day and she went back for day 2.

She asked one of the artists to paint a heart in the middle of his project. And so there is now a #griefheart in the murals near downtown that is Charles’ heart. Thank you Lee Anne for #griefheart number 22.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog … Read more...

Drug addiction is like a diet. Sort of

I know recovery from addiction is far more difficult with a much higher price tag than a diet. But there are similarities from my point of view.

Think about it. You go on a diet and you cut things out that you identify as the culprits to being overweight.

You might deny yourself chocolate, for example.

But at some point, your resolve starts to wear away and you crave chocolate. It’s ALL you can think about. You dream chocolate.

After several weeks of denying yourself this treat, you have a little

A week later, you lose it, break down and binge on chocolate.… Read more...

Piece of my Heart – #griefheart number 21

 

I had my Richmond, VA cousins over and made this cake. It was a nice evening. My cousin Mel just lost her Dad and instead of taking her food, we had everyone over. A piece of my heart will always be missing especially at family get togethers. Charles loved family more than anything. He talked about them here in this song called Family Matters.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

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Love, by Chaney’s Hands – #griefheart number 20

Chaney is my #griefheart today. It’s not just “my” journey, this is a journey for millions of people suffering a suicide loss. And today, this heart is in honor of Chaney Corley who was only 13 when she died by suicide in September of 2015.

I met Tony and Angel Blackmon online after they read this article I wrote in February 2016. By Chaney’s Hands is a non-profit in Kentucky and they are doing their first fundraiser on the first day of youth mental health week, May 1, 2016.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart projectRead more...

Sometimes in My Dreams Cal’s Song, Part 2

by Charles Aubrey Rogers

This is real shit, not crap rap,
The park I used to trap at is next to the tunnel where Cal took his last nap.
Just a coupla weeks away from graduation,
He was supposed to have that gown and tassled cap hat.
Cosby was where he was supposed to grad at,
But he tied that rope and choked,
No joke, than ain’t somthin’ to fuckin’ laugh at,
That ain’t somethin’ to fuckin’ laugh at.

I lie in bed and see you die in my head,
Stay awake and squirm while my brain shakes with your … Read more...

All Heart – #griefheart number 19

Charles was all heart and This is part of a card sent to Charles by his beloved theatre group in his sophomore year (I think) in high school and Mrs. Fretwell, his favorite teacher ever. Charles had cracked his skull, supposedly on a skateboard accident. But later we found out he’d cracked his skull “car surfing.”In his sophomore year, Charles was engaging in riskier and riskier behavior which is, by the way, a sign of suicide and depression.–that cavalier attitude about life being a red flag.

This accident in the hospital was the first time Charles took opiates. We

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