What is suicidal thinking?

Suicidal thinking is a brain attack that causes an episode of emotional pain so great, people who suffer from the thoughts think that death is the only option. They think they are worthless and that your life would be better without them.

That moment comes on with extreme intensity and can last anywhere from a few minutes to several hours but a typical timeframe would be twenty minutes.

In that moment of unbearable pain, the sufferer’s brain betrays them and tells them the only way out is to kill themselves which, of course, is not the case. But remember, a major organ is under attack which means it’s incapable of realizing other, more rational, options at that time.

“We’ve learned that the brains of people who die by suicide differ from those who die from other causes in terms of structure and function, specifically in the areas related to stress response and impulse-control.”(*Source: American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, Talk Saves Lives)

If you can get them to the “other side” of that suicidal episode, remove the means that they are going to use to take their lives, you can save a life. Someone who is irrational doesn’t typically have the wherewithal to come up “with another way to do it.” So removing means, whether that’s pills or a firearm, can keep them safe until those thoughts subside and that brain returns to a more rational state.

Your job is not to fix. Your job is to listen so they feel supported (the most important thing), try to keep them safe without endangering your own life and get them to the next level of care.

That could be the emergency room, making sure they are not left alone, connecting them with a trusted adult or mental health professional in the coming hours or days. The suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255) can help you determine what to do and all you can do is the best you can do.

My last conversation with Charles was hard to understand because he was in that irrational state. I was expecting him to ask for help in a normal way when in fact I was expecting it from someone not capable of that action at that time. In his case withdrawal was part of that state.

Suicide facts

  • 85% do not reveal ideation
  • 30%–60% do not reveal past attempt to anyone
  • 90% of attempts unknown to parents
  • 69% had less than 30-minute interval between ideation and attempt
  • Second leading cause of death for 15-24-year-olds
  • 90% of all who die by suicide suffered from a mental illness

Comments from readers who suffer from suicidal thoughts

I thought these might help you understand those feelings of suicidal thoughts from those with lived experience.

quote-left
Sometimes the darkness wants to take over, and it can be so strong.

Please know that mental illness is treatable.

Suicide is preventable.

It’s just the depression part that always brings me back. It’s like my only motivation to live is just so I can use again which is the most hopeless, horrible feeling. I felt like charles and I were in the same situation but he acted on it before I did and I wish it had been the other way around. I would take his place if I could…..

The friend who found him dead by suicide
Those final tweets

Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health speaker and suicide education trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, and lost her younger son, Charles, to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She combines lessons learned from her experience with proven strategies to help organizations build a wellness culture that drives results and saves lives. She speaks at conferences as a keynote, at workplaces,and at K-12 schools and universities.

10 thoughts on “What is suicidal thinking?”

  1. I lost my best friend to suicide as well. (To Charles friend who found him) I found her. Open wrist blood everywhere. I wish I found her sooner. It’s okay. I miss her.

    Reply

  2. There is an empty space in my broken heart. It’s waiting to be filled by a little thing called love, I’ve never had any, my parents hate me (Anne you are aware) my family hates me and so do my friends. I’m filled with self hate and anxiety. I have nothing left to live for. I’m only 12. But it’s over.

    Reply

    1. I know. I can tell. I love how you have recognized this in yourself. How you recognize the yearning and don’t label it as something else. That shows a level of self awareness not many have.

      I think it’s your opinion you are unlovable. I’m not sure if I asked them that would be their answer although you might feel convinced. When you are hurting, your brain is telling you things to undermine your love for yourself and the other half of your brain is struggling for life. It is utterly exhausting.

      Find something you love to do. Writing (which you are good at), singing, playing a sport, acting–some outside interest. Take that first step. You pick what it is. Give it a try. Like I said the suicide option is always there. And it was you who said you can’t leave your brothers and sisters. What one step or hobby are you willing to try? You can think about it if you are struggling right now. It will come to you if you listen for it.

      Reply

      1. How? I don’t have time for anything. I’m always, and I mean always busy. I have 2 brothers and one sister. I’m the oldest and I was on “ how to hang yourself” I’m, not old enough yet. I’m not even a teenager. It hurts to go home every day, not eat much, work all night sleep wake up and do it all again. My brain just can’t handle all the pain. If you look at me in real life, you’ll be able to tell I hardly eat properly and I rarely get a good night’s sleep. Every time I think about my life for more than a minute, I feel worse because of everything.

        Reply

          1. Piano, it’s the one thing my parents let me choose. I do grade 6 trinity. I stared when I was 5 years old. I’m part of a school band. I love music, rap is one of my favourite genres. I play piano in my free time. And I learn professionally as well. So that’s off the list I guess.

            Reply

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