I told the story about Leo. Now it’s Lisa’s turn.
This one has a whole different outcome, one that still has me in deep reflection months later. It wasn’t without twists and turns. It would be my stomach and my heart that took that journey.
Lisa: “Hey, im a 16 year old girl, im done living it’s too hard, and I don’t just want the pain to end i wanna die im so tired of being here. im planning on doing it this week. before you tell something ive already heard like ” it will get better ” “your strong just keep fighting” “you have a family who loves you” or ” you have so much to look forward too”.
Of course, I answered all her comments and we talked back and forth for about a week. Lisa wrote a detailed message about her plans to die and they were horrifying and included more than one person. I felt…panicked.
Was there a thread in her conversation that indicated a willingness to talk to someone?
There was so I just planted that seed.
Lisa: “today, is the day, and I’m really scared, there is still so much I have to do today to make it possible, but I feel like I have to now.
I’ve been grounded since February so for 5 months and I’ve been stuck at home in my emotionally abusive household, and physically abusive the whole time, the only thing making me happy right now is my friends and I never get to see them, only at school but I can’t hang out with them at school cuz I’m failing all my classes….”
You thought I felt panicked before? I do deep breathing exercises.
Her home situation wasn’t good. For a 16-year-old, there were so many things that aspects of her life that were falling apart.
I did not freak out. She had spoken of a teacher at school. Had she spoken to him yet?
I can’t save her. I can only help her save her own life. Would she talk to this guy?
Lisa: “I’m still alive…my socials teacher saved my life, and as happy and grateful as I am to him, all he did was showed me he cared for probably less than an hour, and that is what saved my life. how can my life be so disposable that if it went the other way I probably would have been dead, all I needed was one person to make me feel like they actually care and there is hope for me, but it wasn’t my friends, my family, it was my high school socials teacher, that I’ve talked to one before, how did he have so much power over my life.”
Relief floods over me.
I saved that passage and use it in presentations to show that sometimes all it takes is one person who is willing to listen. I cry every time I read it.
She just wanted to feel heard and seen.
I wish I could meet this teacher and give him a hug.