by Tammy New Hallstein

We didn’t know that you were drowning in emotional distress
We didn’t know that you decided that the way to save yourself was to end your life
We didn’t know that we could cry in our sleep; that we could cry so many tears for so long
We didn’t know that the last time we saw you, heard your voice, or shared a conversation, a phone call, or text with you, that it would be the final time
We didn’t know that it was possible to feel such overwhelming grief; grief as a permanent weight on our minds and hearts
We didn’t know that we would have to live without you, without your presence, your being, your smile, and your laughter
We didn’t know…
In Loving Memory of my brother, Larry Ryland New Jr, Jan 10, 1969 – Jan 27, 2021