Bereavement is often a time of distorted thinking. We are emotional and this just helps put into perspective all that’s happening around us.
- I will survive even though I’m not sure how yet. Because as bad as it is now, it will never be as bad as getting the news. If I can survive that, I can survive anything.
- I, the grieving person, know that friends are afraid of saying the wrong thing but I’m going to understand that what others say, even if it’s not perfect, comes from a place of love. If the situation were reversed, I might not know the right thing to say either.
- For friends who have disappeared, I’ll grieve that, too, but also understand it’s not personal. I will seek support from others who are supportive.
- I also understand that friends who have not suffered this loss have limitations. They don’t understand fully, and their capacity to sit with me in my pain will vary. Which is why I will seek additional support from a close friend, group, or counselor, because I am not meant to grieve alone.
- I will help my loved ones (friends, peers, co-workers, family) understand how to help me because they want to know and cannot read my mind.
- I will respect where others of my family are in the grief process and not try to hide mine because they don’t want me to. And I know I wouldn’t want them to hide theirs. We need to grieve together and talk about the person we lost.
- I understand that my pain has a purpose and those agonizing moments are building blocks to emotional healing. It’s OK to let it in, and pushing it away only makes things worse.
- I will not allow someone else to grief shame me because I’m not bouncing back fast enough for them. This process takes as long as it takes.
- If I am feeling suicidal, I will reach out and ask for help, and if I feel like suicide, I will think of two friends or trusted adults with whom to share.
- I won’t always know the “why” behind my loved one’s death but I will get to a place one day when I can accept it and learn to live with grief in my life.
