Twenty-minute podcast for parents who’ve just lost a child

2 thoughts on “Twenty-minute podcast for parents who’ve just lost a child”

1. Hi,
   Thank you for the podcast. And thank you for being here for parents that have lost a son or a daughter to substance abuse. I just lost my daughter this past Father’s Day on June 19th 2022. I found my daughter in her room. She had already passed. Even though it was clear to me that she had – I still tried to narcan her 3x.
   She hadn’t been gone long. At first I blamed myself because I had taken a nap that afternoon. And I thought that I had if I had been awake I could have saved her.
   Although now as I look back to the weeks and months ahead of this it probably wouldn’t have saved her for a long. I was already living what they call a prequel to death. I had been waiting for the phone call when she wasn’t home. I had already been living in fear for at least 9 months prior to this date. Every moment of every day I was afraid. Although I would do anything for her to walk through the door right now and go back to the fear anxiety and stress weighing down on me. I would trade it in a minute for the small sense of relief that seems to be in the air now. And yes I feel guilty about this feeling. I know many parents feel this way because it’s the number one feeling that seems to come around after their death when it comes like this from an overdose. Especially if the family has been dealing with a family members addiction for a long time.
   Everything you described in this podcast is everything I am going through
   I would like to thank the brave parents that got on and gave their advice because it has helped me. This is the first podcast I have listened to for help. We just celebrated her celebration of life last Sunday.. and the delayed grief has set in.. and the trauma of finding her that day has set in as well. The pain has never been so awful. Pain isn’t quite the word for it. I feel like somebody has dug out my chest and I’m nothing but a shell.. I do have another daughter who lives out west in Oregon. She has a husband and two children and a very busy life. Although she is extremely supportive I cannot always call her and interrupt her busy life with the problems our feelings I’m going through. She is suffering as well. There was a 10-year difference between her in a younger sister Sara was her name. She was a beautiful and vibrant young lady of the age of 25. She had her whole life ahead of her. And now she’s just gone. It just seems so unbelievable. Five years ago the same month on June 5th, 2017 her father passed away in our arms. This is one of the reasons why she turned to substance abuse is the first place was because of witnessing the passing of her dad. She never could talk about it and never could talk about him. Except that she missed him so much and the pain she was in over that was something that I couldn’t even help her with.
   Now they are both gone and I am alone. I do have support but no family at all here in New England. But as you said there is support groups and people that I can get myself involved with to keep myself moving forward..
   The only way that I have been able to do this is by putting one foot in front of the other each morning. But I have noticed this past week I have been extremely exhausted and very weepy. And that’s putting it lightly.
   Thanks to all of you for easing the pain of my day.

   Reply

   1. Everything you say here, I can remember feeling. The relief, the exhaustion, the confusion, and the disbelief. You are still in a very raw place in grief. I know that you are going to heal and here’s how I know– Because you are looking for ways to heal. It’s good you are looking for a group. And it’s good you are part of our tribe here. I didn’t find podcasts in 2015 and I wish I would have. I was unable to read. The words would just run together like melted crayons. But a group helped a bunch and podcasts would have helped too.

      Grief does ebb and flow like you described. It’s tangled mesh of emotions you somehow get the rhythm of over time. There were weeks just taking a shower took all I had and I thought, “now what?” I’m so sorry you went through this. Watching a loved one self destruct is such a painful feeling. And having it end the way you worried it would feels so awful. Thank you for commenting. And tell me one thing that made your daughter who died special…

      Reply

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