Loss of a child: Say this, not that

Don’t say: At least he’s in a better place now
Say instead: I know you miss him every day

Don’t say: I couldn’t survive losing a child
Say instead: I can’t fix your hurt. But I can listen

Don’t say: Call me if there is anything I can do for you
Instead say: I will be over at 4 pm to take Sara to soccer.
Is that OK?

Don’t say: I know exactly how you feel. I lost my great grandfather last year.
Instead say: I don’t know how you feel. Can I give you a hug?

Don’t say: You will have other children.
Instead say: I know nothing will ever replace your love for Timothy. Tell me something about him.

Don’t say: Oh no, don’t cry! How can I cheer you up?
Instead say: Cry all you want. My shoulder is here for you. And I might even join you.

Don’t say: You’ll get over this.
Instead say: I have no idea what this is like or what you are going through. I’m just going to keep checking in on you.

gift for grieving parent

Free Grief Journey-in-a-Jar Kit

Give a drug store card. Or give a gift that shows you really care from a parent who knows the pain of losing a child. (opens in a new tab)

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Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health speaker and suicide education trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, and lost her younger son, Charles, to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She combines lessons learned from her experience with proven strategies to help organizations build a wellness culture that drives results and saves lives. She speaks at conferences as a keynote, at workplaces,and at K-12 schools and universities.

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