Grieving and rosemary

When I first lost my son Charles to suicide I would go downstairs and take my hand and run it over the rosemary from the herbal basket my friend Preston sent. I would bend over, breathe in the scent and slowly exhale.

They say lavender is the grief herb. But for me, it was rosemary. I can’t really explain what it did for me other than I experienced a moment that hit the pause button on my grief and offered me a rare moment of peace. and comfort.

I often walk in the morning with my friend Virginia. And we walk by a rosemary plant in our neighborhood that hangs over the sidewalk. I often snag one of the orphaned limbs, rub my hand over it and take in the scent.

Virginia used to flinch just a bit because, well, the plant is not mine. No one asked me to prune it. However, every time we walk by, you can’t tell where I got the last sprig. And I noticed today that there were spots on the plant that now had multiple sprigs instead of a single spire. No doubt my “pruning” had resulted in a fuller plant.

That’s how I justify it.

What would I say if they came outdoors and asked me why I was snapping off branches of their rosemary? I’d tell them the truth.

Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health and suicide education expert, mental health speaker, suicide prevention trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost her younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She is a motivational speaker who empowers by educating and provides life saving strategies and emotionally healthy coping skills. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now that's the legacy she carries forward in her son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website.

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