by Jon Farrow
Addiction is living a life only you understand. Your addiction is your security blanket. It is always there when you need it. No matter how dark the nights get you know you can rely on it.
Addiction is being two people at once. There’s the person constantly reminding you what you’re doing is wrong and unhealthy. Then there’s the person telling you your substance of choice is the only way to keep living.
After a while you begin to become confused as to which person you truly are. You question yourself, “Do I ever really want to stop?” While in the deepest parts of your mind there is a faint whisper that you do.
Addiction isn’t like an itch you can’t scratch. Addiction is an over active geyser. The pain and feelings of life boiling beneath the mask you wear. The pressure from your body reminding you that it needs to feed. Fuming and building until you explode and use again. A cycle that you enjoy and despise all in the same breathe.
Addiction is a hot summer day with no shade. A desert with water that is just out of reach. A storm that has a moment of dissipation. Just enough that a vague ray of light escapes through the grey melancholy clouds. Addiction is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Just to loose your way in the darkness once again.
You’ve painted a clear picture of what addiction is like. I thank you for that.