I’m pissed off

I’ve been mad all day. You know the kind of day I’m talking about.

No one answers your calls or replies to your emails. People that said they would follow up or send you something, forget despite reminders. Leads that you thought would come through don’t. And you get all the crummy news at once. Have I had worse days? Most definitely. But the frustration has me so tied up in knots, I can’t write anything but how mad I am.

I’m not handling my bad day well at all.

I did a lot of yelling when my husband came home. I was careful to tell him I wasn’t mad at him but needed to vent and that meant some yelling so I warned him to brace himself.

So he let me yell and my poor one vocal cord is yelling back at me now. It’s saying, “Shut the hell up I have to do all the talking and you are wearing me out.” It is now strained and sore. (Most of you have TWO vocal cords. My other one is crippled from brain radiation.)

Restarting a new career is probably the most frustrating thing I’ve ever done. Especially this one. But what else would I do? That’s the thing. It’s what I want to do and there are days I think no one gives a rat’s ass. But come another suicide by a celebrity and I’m the go-to person again. That sucks. Why is it that way? Were we always this distracted? Did we always care so little?

I am going to go to bed and sleep away my nobody-loves-me-everybody-hates-me-I-wanna-eat-some-worms attitude. Let’s hope it looks less dismal tomorrow but right now pushing a boulder uphill on a glacier during an avalanche seems easier.

Thanks for listening.

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Anne Moss Rogers

I am the mother of two boys and the owner of emotionally naked, a site that reached a quarter million people in its first 18 months. I am a writer and professional public speaker on the topics of suicide, addiction, mental illness, and grief and my book, Diary of a Broken Mind, will be published in the fall. I lost my youngest son, Charles, 20, to suicide June 5, 2015. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Professional Speaker Website

11 thoughts on “I’m pissed off”

  1. I am sorry so felt so frustrated yesterday. Hoping the new day brought some good news. It’s your birthday, I hope you can relax and enjoy the day. You surely deserve it! Thanks for all you do and you are making a difference.

  2. One of the first things I try to do each morning is read your newest post. That oftentimes sends me to an older post. Your words have helped me when I felt hopeless due to my son’s depression and other problems. I am referring your website to others who are struggling. If you feel voiceless, just remember that a tiny rock thrown into a pond will send ripples out. You are valued in so many ways, not the least of how you are giving the rest of us the strength to press on.

  3. It’s so hard to shake off those days, isn’t it? It’s almost like a hangover. You had a crappy day yesterday but today is the emotional let down day. Blah. Hang in there, as others have said—do something unrelated to work/EN, eat birthday cake, take a hike. 🤣 Remind yourself that your tribe loves and values you deeply. Especially *because* you are transparent with us and share these tough days. Much love and happy birthday…

  4. We all have days like yours yesterday. I’m sure that June is a very hard month for you in generally even though it contains your birthday.
    Why don’t you take a break today and just do fun things for yourself? Starting anything new is hard. Giving birth is always painful and businesses take more labor than babies do – longer than 9-months, too.
    I’m sure that your energy and intelligence and just pure human goodness has saved any number of young lives. I’m also sure that you’ve helped so many in need of support and comfort be they people who’ve lived your nightmare or people living a nightmare on the edge due to drugs, depression, and more.
    So it’s a day for feeling as great as possible. A day to turn your upset into uplift but just for yourself. Forget about the rest of the human race for just the next day and rejoice in all that you’ve accomplished over the years. You aren’t a cancer survivor for no reason. God and the Universe have taken you through the worst so that you can deliver the best of what’s needed to thousands if not more. Happiest of birthdays Anne Moss! XXOO

  5. I’m sorry you had such a bad day. It’s hard to know how many people are listening to you when a lot is done over the internet. But you are helping so many people! You may never know how many. When you are frustrated and pushing that boulder uphill, please remember that.

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