Divorce your toxic friends

by Danny Gautama

As a man who continues to write for mental health organizations, a big part of my consistency and my drive to help others is having the greatest group of people who encourage and inspire me. I am always excited and passionate to send my articles to help others.

My group is always optimistic, they are the best at what they do, they don’t project any negativity on me, and they are supporting, kind and have my best interest at heart. It’s a no brainer as to why I surround myself with these people.

I am also blessed to have a great support system from my family, extended families, friends and so on. People, who are driven and ambitious, motivate my life every day. They make me feel like “Oh Yeah! I can do this too”

When you are with the right people in your life, there is no question as to how far you can go.

Unfortunately, when you are surrounded with the wrong type of people, you feel no motivation, no passion, no excitement and no energy. This is why if you are surrounded by the people who complain about everything, who lack ambition, make excuses, play the victim, making everything revolve around them, spend their time talking negative about other people, hate on others, lie, cheat, steal, always disappointing you, then walk away.

They are projecting their negativity on to you. How can you be happy and ambitious if you are always with the people that make you stay still? You are not here to watch the days go by, are you? I am not saying they are bad people, but they are focusing on the wrong things in their life and it may ultimately affect you, the longer you are with them.

If by chance you are living with a negative person, then either you move out. Or if you can’t right now, have the strength to not let anyone destroy your inner peace of mind and stop you from being happy.

Distance yourself. When you are faced with decisions regarding keeping people in your life, then ask yourself these questions:

Do these individuals motivate you to have dreams and goals?
Do they make you feel good about yourself?
Are they where they want to be in their life?
Do you feel happier when you are with them?
Are they optimistic?
Are they negative?

Only you can answer these questions, but you have to decide if they are the right people for you. You are the boss of your life. Your life is your company, which means you can hire or fire anyone you wish that is not helping you and your company grow. Do not be afraid to take a stand and set healthy boundaries for yourself because eventually you can only take so much before you feel enough is enough.

I have had to let go of certain people in my life because they were just too toxic. I now feel happier that I made the right decision and I have no regrets about it.

I suggest you form a circle with a group of positive people that love and support you. You can find that in a group chat such as WhatsAPP, Facebook or any type of social media. If they are in your area, pick a day where you all can hangout. Just stay in touch. Exchange positive messages with each other. Maybe come up with a name for the group, such as THE OPTIMISTICS or THE AWESOME AMBITIOUS. You get the point.

Anyone can join your group as long as they follow the NO NEGATIVITY RULE. Remember, it’s about inspiring and making us rise. However, if there is someone who is down or had a bad day in the group, do not kick them out, but be there for them for moral support. There is a big difference between someone who is a negative, toxic person and someone who is depressed. Toxic people spread negativity to you and others while a depressed person is hurting inside by their negative thoughts. So know the difference. I will give you an example…

I have a WhatsApp group on my phone. One of my groups I have on my phone that my little sister named JUST BE COUSINS, where all my cousins talk and share our joys with each others. My cousins are from Chicago, Toronto, Detroit, Norway, India and Netherlands but we are all with each other on this app. We send things from inspirational to laugh out loud images and videos. We are always there for each other. One thing is not allowed in the group and, that is negativity. No making fun of others, no belittling others and no hating on others. It is just positive energy and vibes.

Be with people that make you feel like the best version of yourself and who make you feel like you are loved.

Kind hearted people are my most favourite people. I love their care and compassion for animals and humans. I love their authenticity and genuineness. The people I affiliate myself with possess these qualities, which is why my life is beautiful because I have these beautiful people in my life. Remember it is okay to have some bad days. We all do, but overall live happily as much as you can.

Letting go of people in your current life that are toxic is one thing, but letting go of people from the past is just as important. Have you ever seen a broken hearted boy or a girl dwell over a break up that they start to lose focus in their life and school? People in your past are there for a reason. Never fixate on them. Everything happens for a reason. Instead of finding out why, just have faith in the universe that something better will come to you and it will.

As I wrap this up, I want to add that if you let people go, do not be afraid of being alone because the right people will eventually come into your life. You are never alone.

Be happy my friend. Do what’s best for you, your life and your peace of mind. Live your life on your terms. You owe absolutely nothing to anyone.

God bless you and take care. Never give up, Keep moving forward, Believe in yourself, Be a legend.
Sincerely, Danny Gautama Windsor, Ontario

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