So many times, I’ve had to take an about face because my life took an abrupt turn in an unexpected direction.
Most of you have had this happen, too.
There are and have been so many things outside my control. My son’s suicide was outside of my control as were the diseases that lead to that cause of death, his depression and addiction. It is was once I faced how powerless I was to stop it, change it or fix it I met humility.
I had no choice but to adjust–adjust to the loss and to my new life after his death. I have landed at a destination that was never in my life’s plan but have tried to accept it with grace.
Where are you headed?
If something in your life has thrown a bucket of cold water in your face, how are you going to adjust and move forward?
You just are. And I have faith you will find a way.
Agree with you both – in our family, it’s not cold water in the bucket, but it’s the same the idea…
It’s like some of us get to live the life we dreamed, and some of us don’t.
That is what it feels like sometimes. I have to stay away from that thought process because I’m clutching the side of a dark hole I am trying to avoid falling into. But I can’t deny visiting it.
Very close to one my mother used to say —. If there is no wind, paddle. I’m paddling. The illusion of control can be enticing but the reality is we have very little. We have to play the hand life deals us. Surrender everyday is all it can be. Miss my beautiful son everyday but there is nothing I can do to change it
That took me a long time to accept the loss. Every morning I would wake up I would be hit in the face that my son’s suicide actually happened and it wasn’t a bad dream.
I like your mom’s analogy. I will remember that.