Bad news. Good news

Trigger Warning: Strong emotional content and suicide method referenced. If you are in crisis, text “help” to 741-741 or call 988

Many of you know I have written articles here for the express purpose of showing up at the top of the Google when people are looking for ways to die. I often have asked you to share them to help them reach that destination and you have done that. There are about eight articles that are ranked on page one for this purpose including one video on YouTube. 

Last week, someone reached out to me who was struggling via the contact form. Her name was Kate and she found this article when googling this way to die on Google. We emailed back and forth for about six days and I asked my emotionally naked tribe to show their support. Everybody did show their support and Kate was working through answering your replies. 

I had not heard from her since Saturday night so I reached out Sunday morning and heard nothing. A sick feeling hit and later that day her partner graciously sent me an email that she had died. I won’t go into a lot of detail but like a lot of us who’ve lost someone to suicide, her partner had no idea. She donned a facade that everything was OK yet she was crumbling inside and didn’t want to reach out for help. We tried. All of you did and it made me cry. So Kate died by suicide. For days, she didn’t follow through with her plans. Then I felt it slipping and she drifted away and she wouldn’t give up her contact info or her loved one’s names.

When I started this, I had to know that there were stories for which I’d never find out the ending. And that some day, there would be someone I, or we, could not save no matter what we did. This is that day. All we can do is the best we can do. 

That same week, I got a message from a young man about this post.

You guys might not remember it now but you helped the article show up at the top of google when teens are looking for a way to tell a parent they want to die. That’s how the sharing works. If it gets enough shares and google deems it worthy, it will achieve first page rank for phrases like, “how do I tell my parents I want to kill myself.” Some of the titles I ask you to share are difficult –cringe worthy. They make me uncomfortable so I know they do you, too. Here’s how this one turned out. 

So this 13 year old the brilliant idea of asking his teacher to tell his parents because he found it difficult. I asked him to share the article with his teacher so she’d know what to say and how to say it. It’s important to be direct and not vague. And he did which I’m so thankful for. 

So some difficult news and then a bright spot, all in the same group of days. I won’t lie to you, this is tough news. The good news has helped. Thank you for your help. 

What do those thinking of suicide say?