Melancholy Moments

A song, or a familiar visual triggers a memory of Charles. Right then, there is a place in my mind I go to sink into it all by myself. No sounds or other thoughts penetrate. And I don’t want interruptions or company because this is my time with my child that is no longer here on earth.

Sometimes there is only a partial memory. The rest of it stays stubbornly masked, just out of reach. That’s when I leave a message for my brain to retrieve it. That one must have been filed away in the stacks.

Why do I only get pieces of it when it’s the whole thing I want? Days, even months later, some of the missing pieces will randomly pop into my head and give me a more complete story.

There has been a lot of that in this third year since Charles’ suicide. Moments of melancholy that don’t get pushed away or denied, but embraced with love.

Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health and suicide education expert, mental health speaker, suicide prevention trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost her younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She is a motivational speaker who empowers by educating and provides life saving strategies and emotionally healthy coping skills. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now that's the legacy she carries forward in her son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website.

4 thoughts on “Melancholy Moments”

  1. Beautifully described. Like a dream you wake up from and desperately fight to remember because he was there, but the details fade just out of reach. Leaving you with that sense of them which we will cherish because its all we have left.

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