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Charles’ suicide wasn’t personal

Charles’ suicide felt intensely personal.

At first, I was sure it was because I sucked as a mom. Or that he was choosing to leave us.

I didn’t love him enough.

He didn’t love me enough.

I missed the signs.

I didn’t say the right thing.

I did nothing right.

His suicide was a crushing blow I took personally.

The truth is he didn’t do this to me.

He didn’t do this because of  me.

He did it to himself.

Which was beyond my control.

It’s so painful to know how he suffered and I had no idea.

I am one of the casualties left behind to pick up the pieces and figure out how to navigate life without him in it.

I wish I didn’t have to but I’m figuring it out. It will always hurt.

So please, if you struggle with thoughts of suicide and you are having a difficult time telling someone you love, please tell someone. Suicidal thought are treatable.

Posts to help you find the courage to tell someone. These posts say teens but it can work for adults, too

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Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.

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