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Charles’ suicide wasn’t personal

Charles’ suicide felt intensely personal.

At first, I was sure it was because I sucked as a mom. Or that he was choosing to leave us.

I didn’t love him enough.

He didn’t love me enough.

I missed the signs.

I didn’t say the right thing.

I did nothing right.

His suicide was a crushing blow I took personally.

The truth is he didn’t do this to me.

He didn’t do this because of  me.

He did it to himself.

Which was beyond my control.

It’s so painful to know how he suffered and I had no idea.

I am one of the casualties left behind to pick up the pieces and figure out how to navigate life without him in it.

I wish I didn’t have to but I’m figuring it out. It will always hurt.

So please, if you struggle with thoughts of suicide and you are having a difficult time telling someone you love, please tell someone. Suicidal thought are treatable.

Posts to help you find the courage to tell someone. These posts say teens but it can work for adults, too

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Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health and suicide education expert, mental health speaker, suicide prevention trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost her younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She is a motivational speaker who empowers by educating and provides life saving strategies and emotionally healthy coping skills. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now that's the legacy she carries forward in her son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website.

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