by Liz Darnell
Note from Anne Moss: There is a population suffering a lot of pain and swept up in this opiate epidemic, made to feel like they are doctor shopping for prescription pain mediations when they are seeking relief from pain from chronic disease. Further, this population is being left on their own with few resources to help getting detoxed and finding alternate pain management strategies. So I’m presenting this side of the epidemic, too.
Forced tapered again.
I spent a month in the fetal position.
The second pain management doc I went to was wonderful. Until the past year or so when he was pressured into taking patients off opioids. He tapered me once and I did well.
Then all of a sudden I was told “long-term narcotics and opioids have been proven to be bad for you. You must come off.” And so the withdrawal began, again. I was coming off of Dilaudid which I had been on for many years. Here is an excerpt from my journal from days two and three.
My body has felt all kinds of pain and incredible hunger for something to stop it. I stare at the pill bottle and want the chronic pain to die. I mean, after all, he wrote me an extra prescription. Oh wait, I tore that up in anger. I won’t grab that pill as I would have to start over.
I spend a lot of time in the rest room. I am feeling cold on the outside and feeling searing pain, shaking and overheating on the inside. My anxiety level is off the charts. I am grinding my teeth. Time moves so slowly and my mind is racing. I literally rock back and forth all day.
This is just the beginning. Can I accomplish this? My will is strong, but is my body?
I’m not addicted, it was prescribed. We can call it anything we want, but the withdrawal is still the same. I have had a great relationship with my pain management doctor. He promised to diminish my pain, and he did. Now, my pain has been forced back into reality and I feel abandoned.
I have taken it upon myself to taper myself off the other meds I was/am taking. I would rather do it myself than have them ripped from me all at once and suffer unbearable pain in addition to what I already suffer from.
Don’t do this alone like I had to. Get support!