What do you do death anniversary week? Have a party

Not long ago, I had lunch with Jacob, one of Charles’ close friends and someone with whom he grew up with. He asked if we were going to have a get together like we had a couple of years ago. I asked if he thought people would be able to come. And they were.

So today, I concentrated on getting food made and preparing to have everyone over. It gave me a goal I was really looking forward to. A lot of them were able to come. We ate dinner, ate homemade ice cream, and walked around the neighborhood.

Best part of all was the hugs. And yes a few tears. We told Charles’ stories, laughed, watched some of his middle school videos and I learned that my favorite video was the favorite of many of them. (It has one of the lowest views but the funniest to me.)

All of us were so shocked when we got the news of Charles’ suicide. We had no idea he felt as he did and I felt better they were shocked, too. They had no idea he was addicted to heroin. So good to have open conversation with a group of people who loved him. Very special and just what I needed.

Missed those who could not make it this time.

Love you Charles. You always loved parties and this one was for you.

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am the mother of two boys and the owner of emotionally naked, a site that reached a quarter million people in its first 18 months. I am a writer and professional public speaker on the topics of suicide, addiction, mental illness, and grief and currently working on getting a book published. I lost my youngest son, Charles, 20, to suicide June 5, 2015. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory.

14 thoughts on “What do you do death anniversary week? Have a party”

  1. Kyle’s 2 year anniversary was on May 24th. The first year we went thru the “should we or shouldn’t we’s” not wanting to celebrate such a terrible day but also not wanting to ignore it altogether. We, along with family, friends and Kyle’s friends, wound up going to the beach near our house and tossing flowers into the surf. There were about 30-35 of us and it was so beautiful. Then we all went back to our house, where more friends who couldn’t make the beach joined us for food, drinks, laughter and tears! This year we did the same thing, thinking the number of people would decrease but it turned out that we had even more! So bittersweet for us – just wish he realized how much he was loved and how much we would all miss him!

    1. I love that idea. So glad to know others celebrate their love of the child that isn’t here, too. It’s so healing for everyone I think. Including us moms and dads. Thanks for commenting Caroline. It helps.

  2. I agree – such a good idea. We are doing the same thing now and it provides a distraction and a release. Whitten loved when we had people over, so we do. It has transitioned from a memorial of sorts to a Christmas party.
    And on we roll…..

    1. It is both a distraction and a healing moment. It’s a must. I couldn’t get it all together before. Someone did it for me the first year. So I tackled it on the third anniversary. It was hard Saturday but Sunday I was so excited that I was able to do what I needed.

      1. What a wonderful way to celebrate Charles’ life. I tried to put this together myself but people are scattered all over. I’m so glad so many of his friends were there for you and your husband to support one another. Big ((hugs))

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