I ache I miss you so much

Dear Charles,

Nothing new here. Nothing earth shattering.  No new revelations.  Just that raw, ugly momma grief.

There’s no new way to frame it or say it.

Images of you flash through my brain like a slide show. Snippets of your life play like an old movie–scenes from when you were a baby, a toddler, a 10 year old, a teen, and since it’s your birthday month, scenes from all those parties and broken piñatas.

And finally, that image of you as “Saturday Charles.” You with that buffalo plaid shirt you loved. That giant grin and your boundless energy like you were going to bounce out of your skin and rule the world.

If you were here you’d tell me a joke that would make me laugh. Inspire me out of my funk. But you’re not so I just want to curl up under the covers with my naked grief and have you come alive in my dreams.

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.

6 thoughts on “I ache I miss you so much”

  1. The scenes is so familiar- all the ages. I got the wind knocked out of me today by a boy wearing a backwards ball cap! That’s how Ty wore it for years.

    Stay tough.

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