I’m not sure why Charles’ hair has been on my mind so much lately. But it was his signature feature other than his thinness. So Charles starts off in life with the baby brown hair. Always the gorgeous brown eyes.
As a 2-year-old, Charles had shock straight white-blonde hair. It was so precious. But over time, it started to get darker and ultimately to a medium brown.
You can see in before and after in this two year span below, that his hair starts to get curly. Charles in braces was pure misery. He hated going to the appointments and was always telling me he wanted them off. I went in one day when he was 4 months shy of getting them off and I begged the doctor to end his treatment and take them off. I had had enough.
Getting him to brush his teeth was so difficult. His gums were so swollen, too. The doctor said, “Sure” but managed to stretch us to that 4-month mark. The orthodontist didn’t want to end the treatment so close to the finish line.
Charles hair starts to get wavy. But not yet the loose, gorgeous curls he had at age 16. Hard to tell in this picture because it’s cut so short.
Funny I have so few pictures of him in middle school. But most pictures of him during this time are absolutely horrible. He often had terrible facial expressions or was angry at me for insisting on a picture.
So by his freshman year in high school, Charles hair starts to get really curly. Gorgeous loose curls. There was one curl on his right side that I would loop my finger in. He’d get slightly annoyed with me. It was “my” curl and it would disappear for a while if his hair was really short.
I don’t exactly know where the curly hair comes from. My husband has some with curls in his family but I don’t know of anyone with quite the head of hair he had. Funny, but Google photos doesn’t recognize Charles from his young self to his older self.
Oddly enough, when we got the news of his suicide, sitting in the back of that police car, I thought about those curls and that one curl. I ached to loop my finger in it one more time. What an odd thing to think about at the worst moment of your life. Maybe I was grabbing for some normalcy in the face of pure horror. Like if I could just touch that head of hair one more time, none of what we were hearing would be true.
Thinking about those curls now makes me smile.