He promised not to attempt suicide again

This is an impossible and un-keepable promise.

I remember talking to a friend of Charles’ who had attempted suicide and saying something like this. When we say, “Don’t do that again,” we think it lets the other person know how much we care.

We want them to guarantee they won’t hurt or scare us again and we can’t imagine life without them and want them to know that. We hope we are communicating we’d miss them when they are gone. But I think the person to whom I said it felt shamed at a point when she already felt that way.

After a suicide attempt, survivors often feel embarrassed. I think that’s why some of us feel angry when someone completes a suicide. We take it personally. How could they do that to us?

But it’s not about us. It’s not personal. And it’s not because we didn’t love them enough.

Suicidal thinking is not rational moment. It’s hard to understand that if we don’t suffer those intense thoughts.

Think of it like a heart attack. Would you ever tell someone who had a heart attack not to have one again and expect them to keep that promise?

Fighting and surviving your mind every day is exhausting

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am the mother of two boys and the owner of emotionally naked, a site that reached a quarter million people in its first 18 months. I am a writer and professional public speaker on the topics of suicide, addiction, mental illness, and grief and my book, Diary of a Broken Mind, will be published in the fall. I lost my youngest son, Charles, 20, to suicide June 5, 2015. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Professional Speaker Website

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