Thoughts of suicide are relentlessly slamming your brain and it feels as if it will never stop. But it will subside. Because all feelings are temporary and no crisis is permanent. I did not write this post to make you feel guilty. I wrote it so you understand what it’s like from a suicide loss survivor.
If you killed yourself
The world would not be a better place. Your family would be in agony. Hardly able to function. Friends and family would think they did something wrong and beat themselves up for the clues they missed.
Horror, anger, guilt, sadness, isolation and raw, agonizing pain would be the result for those left behind if you killed yourself. They would not “get over it.” Ever. Their grief would change over time. Some would learn to move forward, some would not, but they would miss you always.
There would be an empty space at the table every holiday. A place in their hearts would never fully heal. Your family and friends would struggle during your birthday month and again during your death anniversary. Families would blame and argue who is at fault.
There is nothing romantic about suicide
Or the addiction and mental illness that drive the thoughts that cause people to end their lives.
Suicide is not selfish but a desperate act to end intense and unrelenting emotional and sometimes physical pain. That really awful part is temporary–sometimes lasting 20 minutes or less. I can fathom the intense emotional pain because I had a son that killed himself while going through withdrawal from heroin. I will never forget the horrific news of my son’s suicide but my brain stopped short of telling me to end my own life.
Strategies to save yourself are possible
Treatment, a support system and will to live during your rational moments can help prevent that awful act in your irrational ones. You simply have to have a plan for prevention and be willing to ask for help when it hits.
There is only one you. If you left us, we’d be robbed of your potential and all your gifts.
You may be the one to cure diabetes or bring joy to a dying cancer patients by playing your guitar. You may be the one to write a book that touches the lives of thousands or maybe, just maybe you would be talking one day to a crowd and inspire one person to find recovery instead of killing themselves. All because of your story.
We don’t know what you could be. So stay with us so we can find out.
- How to tell you want to kill yourself
- Suicide Safety Plan Template
- Template of a letter to oneself to prevent suicide– Self-help coping strategy
- Book for suicidal persons that is recommended by a licensed counselor, Karla Helbert, LPC: How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person’s Guide to Suicide Prevention