What would happen if you killed yourself?

The world would not be a better place. Those who love you would not be relieved of a burden. They’d feel cheated out of not having you in their lives. Because you are, or have the potential to be, the center of someone’s universe.

Your family would be in agony. Hardly able to function. Friends and family would be left wondering what they did wrong or what they missed.

Horror, anger, guilt, sadness, isolation and raw, agonizing pain would be the result for those left behind. They would not “get over it.” Ever. Their grief would change over time. Some would learn to move forward, some would not, but they would miss you always.

There would be an empty space at the table every holiday. A place in their hearts that would never be fully healed. Your family and friends would struggle during your birthday month and again during your death anniversary. Families would blame and argue who is at fault.

There is nothing romantic about suicide. Or the addiction and mental illness that drive the thoughts that cause people to end their lives.

Suicide is not selfish but it is a desperate act to end intense and unrelenting emotional pain. That really awful part is temporary–sometimes lasting only 20 minutes or less. If it’s addiction that pain is also physical.  I can fathom the intense emotional pain because I had a son that killed himself while going through withdrawal from heroin. I will never forget getting that news but my brain stopped short of telling me to end my own life.

You can have strategies to save yourself because we want you to save yourself. Treatment, a support sytem and will to live during your rational moments can help prevent that awful act in your irrational ones. You simply have to have a plan for prevention and be willing to ask for help when it hits.

There is only one you. If you left us, we’d be robbed of your potential and all your gifts.

You may be the one to cure diabetes or bring joy to a dying cancer patients by playing your guitar. You may be the one to write a book that touches the lives of thousands or maybe, just maybe you would be talking one day to a crowd and inspire one person to find recovery instead of killing themselves. All because of your story.

We don’t know what you could be. So stay with us so we can find out.

Suicide Hotlines

What I miss most about Charles

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am the mother of two boys and the owner of emotionally naked, a site that reached a quarter million people in its first 18 months. I am a writer and professional public speaker on the topics of suicide, addiction, mental illness, and grief and currently working on getting a book published. I lost my youngest son, Charles, 20, to suicide June 5, 2015. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory.

13 thoughts on “What would happen if you killed yourself?”

  1. We are all irreplaceable. No one can fill the shoes that only you fit in. We all bring a certain unique contribution to each other. Let’s never forget that we have a purpose in this life. Never give up on living even when struggles, trials, and tribulations come to you in your life.

  2. People don’t give a shit about us when they want to die. Altruism doesn’t come into play during a psychotic break. It’s not selfishness. It’s just the way it is. A bit snarly I am after 26 months of grief. Damn this. We carry on. We carry on.

    1. I know that. And I know that feeling David. I do understand it. However, I’ve realized at the point of search, people are in two states. Ambivalence or determination. With determination, they don’t stop. They are in and then out. With ambivalence, they are looking for validation to reach out. Then they’ll pause, look around and time is our ally here.

      According to statistics on other posts, we have about a 10-13% shot. But that is enough to make it worth it. And in social media, we can reach people who just happen by and remember feeling that way so they read in a more rational state.

  3. Beautifully written, Anne Moss. Powerful words that speak truth because you KNOW. I pray your words will touch someone considering ending his or her life and help them to hear and believe they are loved, valued and needed in this crazy, hard world. Keep fighting for those who need a voice, an advocate, a friend in the dark times… ❤️

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