20 thoughts on “Garrett Holman”

  1. Donald thank you for so eloquently sharing your son Garrett’s struggles. His story is very similar to that of my son who ended his life almost two years ago at the age of 28. I am so sorry for your loss.

    1. Tjwanna, I know you still feel the pain and no matter how old they were or how long it has been, we still carry the weight. I am sorry for your loss and I pray you find purpose in the new norm. I have not figured out what that looks like yet but know it will never be the same. Thank You.

  2. This breaks my heart and makes me mad at the same time. How in the world can drugs be sold through the internet??? THEY SHOULD BE HELD RESPONSIBLE, ANYBODY ELSE WOULD BE IN PRISON!!!!

    1. It’s called deep internet. Easy to order. It’s hard to trace the sources. They have but as soon as they shut one down, another pops up. What’s worse is that you can order drugs by text and have them delivered to the driveway! I know because my son who died by suicide did this. I had no idea.

    2. There are so many different scenarios for people falling victim to drug related overdose or suicide. The tools used to treat mental health and addiction today are equivalent to shoveling sand with a fork.
      I do not know what the best solution is but I do know what doesn’t work. Thank You.

  3. Addiction of any kind is very tough to deal with. I understand everything you said and everything you tried to do to help your son. Even though my brother did not have an opioid addiction, he was an alcoholic. He came so close to dying several times, but the last time came one Sunday morning. He was by himself. He fell and hit his head on a sharp object. He died right where he landed. My heart goes out to you and your family to watch everything unfold as it did. he is now free from any addiction and from the chains that kept him down. May God give you and your family peace and understanding.

    1. Beth, I am so sorry for your pain and your loss. I agree, Alcoholism is a terrible addiction and unfortunately some in recovery lean to alcohol which is basically trading one addiction for another. Thank You.

  4. I am so, so sorry for your loss. And such a senseless loss – the availability of these products is nothing short of unconscionable.

    As the mom of a 14 year old dealing with ADHD – who starts high school next month – I constantly ask myself what we can do to make sure this doesn’t happen to him. I have a 24 year old nephew who had ADHD, anxiety and depression. He spent 4 months in prison and now has a felony conviction on his record from dealing marijuana. Fortunately he has never gone as far as opioids – which we are all grateful for. But he has spent the past 5 years in and out of treatment centers. Finally, it seems, he has found himself, is serious about staying clean and is in an almost full-time college program. But it’s still day by day. Even after being clean for 6 months. He will always be “in recovery”; it’s something you’re never “cured” of. Seeing my nephew’s experience first hand scares me even more for our son.

    Saying a prayer for your family this evening. Thoughts are with you.

    1. Susan, I hesitate to give advice since I failed. Share Garrett’s story with your 14 year old in hopes that he may see where bad choices can lead. At 14 social media and drama dominate their lives. Introduction to marijuana gives them a sense of acceptance and a mindset that they can self medicate. All I want out of sharing Garrett’s story is to have one person say “Garrett Saved Me”. I always new Garrett was capable of doing great things, I have not let go of that dream. Prayers to you.

  5. Heartbreaking…when is our country going to do something about mental health/addiction? Once a child is 18, a parent is helpless if his/her child will not comply. Police and paramedics are not very helpful either because their hands are tied. It’s a travesty!!

    1. We experienced exactly what your wrote. At 18 they are supposed to be magically mature and grown up enough to take total responsibility for their actions. If they are not then as parents we are forced onto the sidelines. I was asked by a co-worker what I would have done differently, my response was, “I would have handcuffed him to me so I could be with him 24 hours a day”. Sad, desperate answer. Thank You.

  6. Donald thank you for sharing your sweet boys story here. Especially given you are still in the raw stages of early grief. I hope that by continuing to speak up and share our stories we will help bring change. Holding space for you and your family. 💙

    1. Thank You Jenny. As I mentioned prior, I hope one day to here someone say “Garrett Saved Me”. He is still alive in my heart and if by sharing just one person makes a life saving change, that is an honor to my son. Thank You.

      1. Thanks for sharing your story. Hopefully, doing this provide some therapeutic benefit to the pain and loss you must be feeling. I have shared this as this hits close to home for our small community. It is in our backyard and can’t be ignored. God Bless you for sharing your story.

  7. I am so very sorry for your loss. I feel like I am reading about my own 15 year old son…he is struggling…substance abuse…legal issues…School failure…I am so afraid for him. I had no idea you could order synthetic heroin via the mail ! This terrifies me. 😩 Thank you for educating me about this…and again I can’t imagine the pain you and your family are feeling.

    1. Please read my reply to Susan. In your case I would just add a few points. It is hard but the legal system is not set up to treat mental illness and substance abuse. We spent more time and money fighting legal battles than treating Mental illness and substance abuse. At the very end I finally gave up on the legal and told my son I did not care about anything but keeping him alive. I wish I would have done that sooner. The next is, no matter how painful the struggle is for him and the family, no one is better off if he is gone. The feeling of loss and hopelessness is like a sucker punch to the gut where you never fully catch your breathe. When you feel like giving up, smack your self in the face and fight back harder. Prayers to you and your son.

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