You have felt worthless.
Others have treated you like trash.
The criminal justice system treats you as criminals.
Society has labeled you a throwaway.
I believe that lack of support and compassion has fed the epidemic and contributed to your feelings of low self worth.
Typically those with addiction struggle with self esteem. You feel deeper than most and often it comes with mental illness.
Behavior makes this disease more complex.
Here’s the thing
This disease is awful but it comes with gifts. Gifts you are not aware of.
Often those who suffer have talents we often take for granted. You take them for granted.
If we are going to change minds we have to band together and believe in ourselves.
I know you do that at rallies.
Where this falls short is advocating for yourself–one of the most difficult steps in this process and I believe one of the causes for relapse. The lack of emotional support. The tendency for those in our culture to treat you as a throwaway seeps into your psyche.
When family abandons you it simply is too much. The disappointment from a relapse you can read on your family’s faces. (When in fact it’s really fear of losing you that you see etched on our faces.)
I believe my son felt abandoned–contributing to his suicide. We had not but to him he felt that way. And if all the things Charles could endure that was on one of them. I was struggling to assess the situation and figure out a next step.
I’m not abandoning you. People who contribute and follow and share this blog are not abandoning you.
Even if you relapse.