My heart feels like it has traveled a thousand miles. At moments, I feel I’m at the beginning of the trail. Other days I realize how far I’ve come since losing my son to suicide.
It’s been a long, painful journey–two steps forward, one step back and then forward again. As the landscape has changed, I have adapted sometimes begrudgingly. Along the way, I’ve met others who have supported me and fed my soul. I’m moving forward. One step at a time. That is quite literally, a #griefheart journey.
I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief.
As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory.
Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.
View all posts by Anne Moss Rogers
4 thoughts on “Mile marker heart— #griefheart number 250”
My baby brother struggles with a heroin addiction, he is 24 and I worry about him literally everyday. He has been to treatment 3 times and it hasn’t helped for longer than a day or two, and I get so excited when I see him sober, it’s like the old him! Eventually though he goes back to it… I am fearful for his life. We’re all at a loss of what to do- have you in your journey post losing your sweet boy found any resources that might help me reach him or even just him in general. I know he hates himself for the things he’s done. Any recommendations would be wonderful.
Sincerely,
A Scared Big Sister
I am so sorry. There is no magic for this part and I know the feeling of helplessness. The best thing I ever did was join Families Anonymous (FA). That helped me communicate and understand it as a disease and how to talk to my son. It was still hard but I learned new ways to communicate. I think the big thing is to do the FA thing for yourself, actively engage in community events in support of recovery (you’ll learn so much in the process) and always reach out to your brother and tell him you love him. Set boundaries such as I’m not giving money, or talking on the phone when he’s abusive. But on the other hand, letting him know that you love him unconditionally and you are there for him when he wants to tackle recovery. The truth is, there is no way to make another human being do what you want him to do. The only thing you can control is how you can react to him. And that’s what Families Anonymous teaches you. It’s your best shot. Always hold onto hope. Never let that go. I clung to it till the bitter end and then I reinvested my hope in others. This is what a recovery specialist wrote. https://annemoss.com/2016/06/08/actions-take-addicted-loved-one/ And this is what I wrote to explain what addiction is. https://annemoss.com/2016/04/27/addiction-the-broken-reward-system/ And a story about how complex recovery is: https://annemoss.com/2016/04/07/addiction-and-recovery-a-fateful-friendship/
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My baby brother struggles with a heroin addiction, he is 24 and I worry about him literally everyday. He has been to treatment 3 times and it hasn’t helped for longer than a day or two, and I get so excited when I see him sober, it’s like the old him! Eventually though he goes back to it… I am fearful for his life. We’re all at a loss of what to do- have you in your journey post losing your sweet boy found any resources that might help me reach him or even just him in general. I know he hates himself for the things he’s done. Any recommendations would be wonderful.
Sincerely,
A Scared Big Sister
I am so sorry. There is no magic for this part and I know the feeling of helplessness. The best thing I ever did was join Families Anonymous (FA). That helped me communicate and understand it as a disease and how to talk to my son. It was still hard but I learned new ways to communicate. I think the big thing is to do the FA thing for yourself, actively engage in community events in support of recovery (you’ll learn so much in the process) and always reach out to your brother and tell him you love him. Set boundaries such as I’m not giving money, or talking on the phone when he’s abusive. But on the other hand, letting him know that you love him unconditionally and you are there for him when he wants to tackle recovery. The truth is, there is no way to make another human being do what you want him to do. The only thing you can control is how you can react to him. And that’s what Families Anonymous teaches you. It’s your best shot. Always hold onto hope. Never let that go. I clung to it till the bitter end and then I reinvested my hope in others. This is what a recovery specialist wrote. https://annemoss.com/2016/06/08/actions-take-addicted-loved-one/ And this is what I wrote to explain what addiction is. https://annemoss.com/2016/04/27/addiction-the-broken-reward-system/ And a story about how complex recovery is: https://annemoss.com/2016/04/07/addiction-and-recovery-a-fateful-friendship/
♥
Ain’t it the truth.