At first, this was my internal visceral response to people who acted as if my grief was an inconvenience to them–an ugly interruption in their beautiful, perfect life.
To be clear, I don’t resent anyone for having living children or a successful life. I do resent how my child was treated by those who were supposed to help him, leaving us broken at times.
Because of our tragedy, I do invade people’s space with my story. Over and over and over again. Even unsuspecting people, minding their own business.
I brazenly push the topic out there and I know it makes people uncomfortable. Hell, it makes me uncomfortable sometimes. Even my marketing presentations are littered with examples of suicide, addiction and mental illness.
Some are just not expecting that assault in a business environment. However, I have found even these audiences surprisingly compassionate and receptive after they recover from their initial shock.
I hear from other parents about how they want to talk about their loved who died by suicide or overdose but relatives cut them off and refuse to have a conversation about it. Part of why I do what I do is to give these family members a voice and permission to talk about the one they lost without shame.
I don’t want my child forgotten and dismissed because of how he died.
I don’t want to be dismissed as a human being and a mother because Charles didn’t become the thriving adult we hoped he would.
I want to see change. That means getting people comfortable with the topics of mental illness, addiction and suicide by talking. And sometimes leaking into and invading people’s space.
I would never have chosen this path. It happened and I can’t undo it.
But when tragedy interrupted my life, something beautiful did happen.
I found my voice. I found purpose and people I would not have otherwise gotten to know. And despite moments of utter devastation, grief and despair, I have found hope and healing in your stories and friendship.
Interruption inspires change. And I won’t apologize for that.
10 thoughts on “Sorry to interrupt your beautiful life with my tragedy”
You always make my day .. Anne.
I lost my Beautiful Daughter that meant the world to my husband and I on March 25th, 2016.. it was the worst day of our lives to get that call that our daughter was gone. It will be five years this month and it still seems like yesterday to us. We miss her every single day of our lives.
It’s been almost six years for me. I get what you are saying. Honored to have you as part of the tribe.
No apologies needed Anne! The phrase “there but for the grace of God…” was running through my mind as I read this. Never feel belittled as a mother or have anyone make Charles “less than important” because of how he died. And shame on anyone who makes you and others touched by suicide judged and made to feel less than worthy. Keep speaking out! You are helping so many people!
Most people are very courteous and I’ve learned to take it in stride. Thank you so much for your comment and support Denise. Very much appreciated.
I smile to myself reading this entry. It is you, Anne Moss, that fierce Lion mother, protecting your and all our Cubs. I am proud to call you friend, Anne Moss, though all of us would rather it be for any other reason on this Earth than that of Angel moms.
I know Janet. THank you.
Beautiful, Anne Moss! ❤️
The “interruption” is so desperately needed and I thank you and your family for waking us up. Keep up the good work. Lives are being changed and saved!