For decades, I waited to find my purpose. I kept looking but it just didn’t happen. I had faith it would find me. I just didn’t know when. Or what.
When it did, I realized what I had to lose in order to find it. My child.
That price tag is so high and so painful. I was so mad at you. Like Charles was in his letter to you.
Then I didn’t want to accept it. His life was so short. He had so much to offer. This couldn’t be it. It can’t be real. How was all of it going to play out? And why suicide?
I get it now. I know you don’t orchestrate our lives and sentence people to die early. Things just happen and that’s part of life. We ask you to intervene and grant our wishes as if you were a Jeanie. Funny, I even hear football players thanking you when they win. Like you give a rat’s ass about a football game. I know that’s not how it works.
I hear people all the time say, “my prayers were answered” when in fact it doesn’t work that way either. As if you play favorites. I know you can only help us find the strength within ourselves when hardship happens.
I am determined to let my son’s legacy drive my passion for saving others. I think you know I will never give up.
So I’m asking you to help me find the strength within myself and those around me to carry this through. Help me find my way along this path to carry out the purpose that has finally found me.