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Can’t be tamed

My entire life, I have been told, “I love your passion but you need to tame it!” Like the two were separable. That sentence itself is a paradox.  As if the fact that I am bold and think differently is a ugly speck on an otherwise decent personality.

I’ve been made to feel guilty about my forthright personality, encouraged to tame it to be more ladylike and more “in line” with tradition. If only I wasn’t so ambitious, so driven, daring, bold, willing to step outside my comfort zone, and so unwilling to follow traditions I find ludicrous.

If I had a dime for every time someone warned me that I shouldn’t post this, share that or otherwise speak out about something I believe in, I swear I’d be a millionaire.

There are things I do that make people uncomfortable because they are unconventional and outside the box. The truth is, to me they aren’t that unconventional or different.

Like a three year old, I always ask myself, “Why?” I like challenging myself and I’m not happy if I don’t. I remember Charles questioning traditional things. And there were times I’d look at him and say, “You’re right. That is stupid. I won’t do it that way any more.” He was pretty unconventional and reminded me of where he got it from.

I’m not going to bend myself to try to fit someone else’s mold any more. There have been times I have tried and simply felt handcuffed. I am who I am and Charles’ suicide has made me promise that I would be true to myself.

That’s one reason why I started this site. I wouldn’t have to answer to someone else and I could do it the way I wanted to.

If change is going to happen, I have to be willing to be uncomfortable. I owe that to the legacy of my popular yet unconventional child. I am willing.

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What I miss most about Charles

 

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.

5 thoughts on “Can’t be tamed”

  1. Anne, I so much appreciate your passion, encouragement, advice and wisdom. You are helping so many of us who have suffered the suicide of a loved one. It has been a silent subject for way too long. Your bringing it up to the media is helping to open many new avenues of suicide prevention. Thank you!

  2. In my opinion, the pressure to be “conventional” and “normal” has helped to create the “social media perfect” life and socially acceptable behavior, which has (again in my opinion) increased our levels of addiction and mental illness. You are doing amazing things to break down some of these false barriers, and I’m grateful for that.

  3. Kudos to you for following your heart and using all those parts of your personality that are impressive to so many of us to affect change. It’s the people who are not afraid to be who they truly are that make the most impact in the world. Bravo Anne Moss!!

  4. No way should you change! If you weren’t true to yourself, you wouldn’t be using your passion in the ways you are. Mom used to say it would be a mighty boring world if we were all the same. So true!

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