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My heart was hacked

map2000This website was hacked. I know many of you noticed because I got so many, “Where is it?” messages.

What I didn’t expect was how devastated and out of sorts I would be. I didn’t realize how attached I was to the village I have cultivated here.

I missed writing. I missed your commentary. And it was only down 38 hours but it felt like a month.

It was then I realized this is my baby.

As you guys know, I post something every day. The attack felt so personal, I literally felt like I was losing my child all over again.

My newly merged team helped out and ultimately I went and got protection that would help me avoid being targeted again. So it got fixed.

I had to steer myself away from self pity mode multiple times. My reaction was so unexpected. My therapy outlet gone.

I know I can write on a word doc. I actually started this post in one. But I have so many ideas stored on the site and I could not get to them.

Fortunately, this loss was fixable. The loss of my child is not. But this site represents love of what I lost and for that reason, it hurt to lose that lifeline for even just a few hours.

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Grief: Going all ‘hallmark’ on you

 

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.

5 thoughts on “My heart was hacked”

  1. I did notice that when I clicked on the link to read it, it wanted me to fill in my password?! I can imagine the feeling – my iphone was destroyed and I lost all the music that I had gotten off my computer, from my CD’s, long ago. I had a new laptop and had not backed it up yet. I lost all the christmas music that whitten loved. I was absolutely devastated. It will cost me hundreds to download it all now. It’s funny what messes with you afterwards.

  2. It’s an amazing insight for you, isn’t it? Both in terms of your personal connection to the blog (your digital child) and our connection to you. You are very much needed. Glad you’re back up and running, stronger and more protected. We missed you those 38 hours… ❤️

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