These are all short, easy reads. Number 3 in only 66 pages. The others are glorified booklets.
I know the internet has a wealth of information but at times it felt overwhelming and it helped to be holding one single piece of literature that had been proven to work for tens of thousands of families.
Numbers 1 and 2 apply more to those with a loved one with addiction. Number 3 is great guide for anyone with a teen. It’s not meant for kids with issues but I think it is a template for communicating that can work with any teen.
1. What do I say?
This is a short guide but I remember looking at it while I was on the phone with Charles. It helps you learn how to talk with your addict. You’ll slip up at lot at first and it takes practice. A lot of it. But I learned these techniques and there was a lot less shouting
2. Setting Boundaries
This has a corny cover and you can get one free if you go to a Families Anonymous meeting. This helped me figure out boundaries because regular discipline just didn’t seem to fit or work for Charles. I think boundaries are good to set for addicts and for those with mental illness although this is designed more for loved ones suffering from addiction.
I just had to learn to set realistic boundaries and stick with them. A lot of the FA literature is quite simple and straight to the point. They usually have a collection of it at meetings.
3. Motivating Teens
I love this guide–works for all ages and best 30 pages I’ve ever read. Do you like to be told what to do? Neither do your teens. Our kids need to problem solve and this gives them the opportunity to do so. Not all their solutions will be great. But what’s important is that they understand failure when the price tag is small.
Learning to put this technique in action versus lecture is not as easy as you think. But worth it.
With all these, you are learning a new way to communicate so you have to reward yourself for doing it right once because with each time you do it right at first, you’ll regress your old ways at least 9 times. So it takes practice.
And you’ll see the techniques can be applied to so many things once you learn them.
