Those of you who have suffered through the addiction of a loved one know how exhausting it is. The fact that they are such amazing manipulators blurs all the lines whips your emotions from one end to another.
But if you’ve set boundaries to protect yourself from the mayhem also knows as addiction, you need to keep these things in mind:
1. It’s really very hard to go from “tough love” to “rescue mode.”
They are polar opposites in terms of emotions. But often that’s what we have to do to save a loved one. Knowing that might be how it will happen, can help you prepare for it emotionally and make the switch when you need to.
2. A cry for help is often not pretty.
Even if it’s a cry for attention, give it to them. The amount of shame they feel while they are using is overwhelming. They feel utterly worthless. Their cry for help can often sound threatening. While you need to protect yourself, always ask them if they want your help to find recovery. But also protect yourself. If your addict has a history of violence, they you are right to keep your distance for your safety.
3. The window of opportunity to help is very narrow
And you have to go for it when it comes and fast which brings me to the next point…
4. Get educated and have a plan in place
Talk to other parents, others in recovery. ASK them what their rock bottom was so you might be able to see it. Where will you take them? What can you afford? Is there a mental illness involved? Who takes your insurance? (Here in Richmond, I recommend the Family Education Group at Northstar Community for education)
5. Use this guide published by a recovery professional