These might also apply to a death of a loved one that is not a suicide.
However, my grief experience is with the suicide of my son, Charles so I wrote from that point of view.
I will never get over it
A suicide, or any untimely death, is not something you “get over.” It’s a journey that changes over time. You’ll always miss your loved one but you learn to carry them with you. Saying something as dour as “I’ll never get over it” merely brings you down emotionally. It shatters your hope of having a life and finding joy after the untimely death of a loved one. I hate this phrase and refuse to think it.
I want to die
I cannot dismiss your feelings. That would be invalidating them. So if is the way you feel, please get help. Please. This is considered a suicidal thought. You are important and you owe it to yourself and your family to find help and to talk about it with someone. I found a suicide support group to be helpful.
It was such and such’s fault
Suicide is so complicated and those who are successful do so for a bunch of reasons combined. Blaming relatives or even drug dealers doesn’t bring you peace or closure. It leaves you bitter and estranged. Do acknowledge those feelings and see if you can come to terms with them with the help of a counselor if you need to.
Staying bitter breeds more bitterness and unhappiness. Forgiveness brings peace and helps you move forward again. Forgiveness does not mean that a person who has done wrong or made errors is absolved of all wrongdoing. It just means that you let go of the resentment and choose to move past it.
It’s my fault
So classic of a death by suicide. We all feel that way. What could we have done differently? You will go to that place whether I tell you to or not. I did. The coulda, woulda, shoudas are part of the grief suicide journey and are devastating. It’s the knife in your heart with an extra twist. It’s important to learn to move away from it, to let it go as it will only take you down a black hole. I don’t go there often anymore. Not like I did. But that took effort to not sit around and drown in that misery.