Alter Ego: Are you really going to push that “publish” button and depress everyone?
Me: Well that’s not why I am writing all this.
Alter Ego: Then why?
Me: I am not sure why.
Alter Ego: Then why bring everybody else down? Who wants to read this crap? No one wants to be dragged into your grief about your dead child. Who wants to hear about that? This is your journey not theirs.
Me: They don’t have to read it. It’s not a required reading assignment
Alter Ego: You know people are going to feel forced or obliged to reach out because they feel sorry for you.
Me: I wondered about that at first. But friends and family have been very supportive. I don’t think we grievers give others enough credit.
Alter Ego: Then what’s this all about?
Me: I think it’s OK to express grief. We used to wear black to let the world know we are hurting. For some reason now we are supposed to buck up and deny the hurt, get back on the speed train and move on. People should not feel ashamed of hurting.
Alter Ego: Do you really think anyone cares?
Me: I do. Look. I’m not the only one out there hurting. That’s the point. I want others to know they are not alone, that “being strong” doesn’t mean glazing over things and jumping back into the saddle. That crying doesn’t mean you are weak, it means you are healing
Alter Ego: But why put that on Facebook Debbie Downer?
Me: Because that’s where people are. We’ve made Facebook our own fake reality show. A lollipop land of shiny faces, perfect families–sons and daughters.
Alter Ego: What’s the matter with that?
Me: When you look over the landscape it looks like everyone is having a perfect life. And it’s a dangerous façade. Those suffering think no one wants to hear what they have to say because it reveals the darkness in their soul. So they feel ashamed and they keep it to themselves. But we need to listen. Or we lose people we love– like I did.
Alter Ego: So you want to make social media depressing is that it– a big whine fest of hurting souls?
Me: No. I want hear the good stuff, too. But I don’t want to bury the hurt. Charles buried the hurt but used his lyrics to express it. It offered him relief. I am doing the same. It’s a release for me, too.
Alter Ego: Charles would want you to do this?
Me: Yes. I didn’t realize that until right…now. Thank you Charles.
Alter Ego: I understand now. Push that “publish” button. You’ll drive me nuts all night if you don’t and I won’t get any sleep!